By Geno McGahee

There are certain superhero approaches that are fresh and DOOM PATROL fell into that category.  The odd show follows a group of heroes that are interesting and work off each other incredibly well.  The storytelling is solid and it appeals to all ages and that is by design.  In the fourth season of this series, it doesn’t miss a beat and doesn’t lose any quality that sometimes happens as you keep creating seasons.  It’s just quality stuff.

The fourth season brings 12 episodes and ties up all the loose ends, bringing this series to a conclusion that is satisfactory.  The cast is incredibly strong and a special mention should be made for Brendan Fraser.  Despite the show being not always serious at all times, Fraser shows his acting skills throughout this series.   He adds so much to the show.  The rest of the cast is very good as well and they are given a lot to work with and seem to have fun with the roles they are in.

The show is presented incredibly well on Blu-ray. It’s vibrant and the special effects look near movie quality despite it being a made for TV show.  Warner Bros. Discovery Home Entertainment brings it to the homes in the best way and if you like the series, this is a must own. 

DOOM PATROL: THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON is really good and continues the quality that we’ve come to know with the series. 

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By Geno McGahee

Warner Bros. Discovery Home Entertainment has released CRAIG BEFORE THE CREEK, an animated movie, based on the series of the same name.  The story involves Craig Williams, a youngster that moves to a new town and finds some very strange things happening.   The kids around him seem off and then it gets really odd.

Pirates arrive and when a toy is stolen, Craig must respond and the search for a granter of wishes and an item that will help him fix everything.   During this quest, Craig goes against Serena, a kid with an interest in the powers of the item as well.   It’s a race against the clock and a battle for power in this Cartoon Network film.

Overall, this is a good film, especially for those that enjoy the show or have children that enjoy the style of the Cartoon Network shows.   It’s got a very distinct look and vibe and some humor that will even hit the adults that watch it.

CRAIG BEFORE THE CREEK is a film that brings adventure and great animation into a film that is certain to entertain the target audience.    The film is currently available on DVD and Digital from Warner Bros. Discovery Home Entertainment. 

The post Craig Before the Creek (2024) – Now on Digital & DVD – Movie Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

By Geno McGahee

As a child, I was a big fan of both King Kong and Godzilla and watched all the older movies that featured them, including the one where they were together.  I was happy.  I thought quitting while we were ahead might be a good idea, but like everything else that is popular, Hollywood will make remakes and re-imaginings to turn a buck.

King Kong would return in 2005, but I’m not sure that that film is related to this series.  It was very good movie and showed that the big hairy ape had some potential to come back and be a box office draw.   In 1998, GODZILLA was released and most want to forget that one, but not me.  Not me!  I liked that movie.  I still consider it the best Godzilla movie even though it had things that irritated me.  It was fun, but then in 2014, GODZILLA: WE’RE SORRY FOR 1998 was released and it was dark and not much fun.  It wasn’t a bad film. It just wasn’t memorable or a good time.

In 2019, GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS came out, followed by the best in the new series, GODZILLA VS. KONG in 2021.  I wonder why Godzilla got top billing.  I’ve always been Team Kong and I’d prefer to see KONG VS. GODZILLA or KONG AND HIS GOOD FRIEND GODZILLA, but that might not draw asses to the seats.

So, after really enjoying the 2021 GODZILLA VS. KONG, I was eager to see the follow up in the new release, GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE.  I felt it was a tough formula to fuck up.  You got two big monsters.  You find some random city and they fight and they destroy everything and then it’s over.  Considering Godzilla won the first fight, I was ready for Kong to get his revenge.  With Godzilla sleeping through the majority of the movie, he could have easily just killed him when he was asleep, but he let him wake up naturally. 

Ilene (Rebecca Hall) is trying to make her adopted daughter, Jia (Kaylee Hottle), who keeps scribbling shit during class.  She also has a connection with Kong and feels that he is in some trouble in the hollow earth where he lives.  Ilene gets in touch with conspiracy theorist, Bernie (Brian Tyree Henry), and they team up to figure out what is going on.  

We find out that Kong’s issue is that he had a bad tooth.   They must have run out of ideas.  I would rather heard he had erectile dysfunction.  Now there’s a story.   They could even have a character, possible Ilene, note that “I guess he’s not King Cock after all.”  Hollywood should have contacted me.  I would have saved their movie.

Trapper (Dan Stevens) is some eccentric guy that wears tropical shirts.  He is able to give Kong a new tooth and the movie could have ended there and I would have been happy.  I think I would have just been happy if it ended then and they showed something else.   

Trapper, Illen, Bernie, Jia, and a random guy that was definitely going to die early, travel to the hollow earth to see the glorious CGI world.  They go through the jungle and Trapper senses something and the guy that doesn’t probably have a name in this gets eaten by a plant.  Thankfully that is the only plant in the whole film that is dangerous and after a minute or so, they forget about it.  Fuck him.  He wasn’t important. 

While visiting the hollow earth, they find a post where a bunch of people were killed and they figure out that there is another monster there that likes to fuck shit up.   As this is happening, Kong meets up with some little fucking shit ape that sets him up.  He gets jumped by a bunch of raggedy looking chimps and gorillas, but they are no match for Kong.  Kong also has an axe in this one, which I don’t get.  They are just giving him shit to make it different.  I contend that if you are going to give him an axe, you give him clothing first.   If you are sitting there in the jungle, you’d first say “I need to cover my junk” before you make a weapon. 

Kong takes the little fucking shit ape under his wing and he is brought to a slave camp where the apes are all forced to work.  It reminded me of ENEMY MINE when those poor aliens were put to work and pushed around, but that was a far better movie.  As Kong watches on, an elderly gorilla gets slapped around and he’s seen enough.  Kong says fuck you and punches out the guard, leading to the debut of the big monster that they’ve hid in fog and shadows for a bit and he was totally unimpressive.  He’s a big skinny orangutan with a whip.  He also has a pet lizard thing that shoots radiation or something.   It’s enough to keep the gorilla slaves in line, but it was disappointing.

Kong goes 0-2 against big monsters when that big fucking orangutan guy kicks his ass and I’m really depressed now.  He finds a place to die, but the human visitors give him a mechanical metal hand to fight with.   It would NEVER WORK.  Go to the zoo.  Find a gorilla and sneak in when they are sleeping.  Put a metal mechanical hand on their arm and they will wake up, rip it off and beat you over the head with it and probably have his way with you, depending on the season.  Actually, I don’t think there is an official mating season for gorillas.  I never Google anything before I write reviews.   Sorry.

Godzilla finally wakes up and destroys some stuff and is now looking for some signal that is coming from hollow earth.  That signal is coming from a lost tribe that Jia is related to and now they are going to use all their technology to get Kong and Godzilla together to take on the skinny orangutan guy and his reptile dog thing. 

The final fight happens with orangutan man and lizard dog versus King Kong and Godzilla.  Well, they added Mothra to the mix because he’s a guardian for the tribe and he’s there to make sure that shit goes right.  Can you guess who won this final fight?  It wasn’t orangutan man and his lizard dog.

GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE was very dull without much dialogue or suspense.  If you like watching constant fights with CGI monsters without much more going for it, then this is for you.  I kept screaming “bring in Matthew Broderick!”  I was that angry that I paid to see this movie.  Giving King Kong an axe and a fucking mechanical glove?  What next, they’re going to give him a strap on dildo to attack the city with?   I hope they do.  

I can’t recommend this one.  I thought it sucked.

Rating: 3.5/10

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By Geno McGahee

In 1984, GHOSTBUSTERS was released and became a huge hit and it was only a matter of time before a remake or reboot would happen.  In 2016, the reboot was released and it didn’t do the business or leave the impression that they had hoped for and there were many reasons for it.   The top complaint seemed to be the casting with the all-male cast being replaced by an all-female cast, but there were bigger issues than casting.

Erin (Kristen Wiig) is a college professor hoping for tenure , but she has a past she’d like to hide.  Years before, she co-wrote a book about the paranormal with her old friend, Abby (Melissa McCarthy), and it has the potential to ruin her aspirations.  She goes to visit Abby and her partner, Jillian (Kate McKinnon), and this is where the biggest problem is on display.  

Kate McKinnon is not a comedian.  She has no clue.  She has this whole “look at me, I’m being funny,” thing that Adam Sandler does from time to time, and it never works. It’s never funny.  McKinnon apparently thinks that making funny voices and faces will make the crowd laugh, but it doesn’t work on SNL and didn’t work here.  Wiig and McCarthy both have great talent and can be very funny and we see it here at times.

After being fired, Erin decides to team up with her old pal and her friend to create this incarnation of the Ghostbusters.  They hire a secretary named Kevin, played by Chris Hemsworth, and I heard a lot of negative things about him in this.   I thought he was one of the funniest parts of the film.  He is an intellectually challenged guy and they add some funny moments to make it work.  Every time there’s a loud noise, he covers his eyes.  That was pretty funny.

Erin, Abby and Jillian get a new team member with subway employee, Patty, played by Leslie Jones.  Jones really does well in this role and adds to the team with her one-liners.  There still isn’t much to work with here as far as a comedic screenplay, but Jones, McCarthy and Wiig are using every tool in their toolbox to make it work. 

The Ghostbusters are dealing with a lot of paranormal activity and there is a reason why.  Rowan (Neil Casey) is a man that is sick of being bullied and wants to release all of the ghosts on the city and destroy all the people that were cruel to him over the years.  He becomes aware of the Ghostbusters and the war has begun and so as the really bad CGI, which is another issue we have here.

Watching GHOSTBUSTERS, I kept thinking about the SCOOBY DOO live action movies with the CGI.  It’s the same complaint that most people have about modern films compared to classic films that used practical effects, but the CGI in the 2016 GHOSTBUSTERS wasn’t very good and the film is loaded with it. They really wanted to make this action-packed and they did, but much of it feels green screen with the actors not having anything to work off of. 

The film is nearly 2 hours and it runs out of steam less than half way through.  It’s easy to see why this is the ignored entry in the GHOSTBUSTERS series and it has nothing to do with the casting as much as it has to do with the mediocre screenplay.   There is so much over explanation and wasted time in this film and the jokes linger. 

The good outweighs the bad here and the film isn’t an insult to the 1984 film, but it does nothing to stand out and is not a foundation for a sequel.  I only recommend it if you loved GHOSTBUSTERS and are curious to see what they do with the source material.  Other than that, it’s not worth two hours of your time.

Rating: 5/10

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By Geno McGahee

There was a time when action films were done right.  Action stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean Claude Van Damme and Sly Stallone were pumping out film after film and just beating down a bunch of goons and some final boss bad guy.  When that time passed, action films sort of lost their way, but when I saw the trailer for THE BEEKEEPER, I began to think that maybe we are on the beginning of a return to form.

Clay (Jason Statham) is living a quiet life as a beekeeper, making honey and looking out for his elderly neighbor, Eloise (Phylicia Rashad).  As Eloise works on her laptop, a message pops up saying her computer was compromised, leading to one of the more popular scams that target the elderly.  After being totally cleaned out of her life savings, she takes her own life.

I must say two things here.  One, Rashad has aged incredibly well.  The other thing is that the film is set in Springfield, Massachusetts, and it didn’t look like Springfield to me.  Where were the junkies?  Where were the homeless people with signs asking for money?  That Springfield looked great in THE BEEKEEPER….maybe it’s set in an alternate dimension where they cleaned it up.

Agent Parker (Emmy Raver-Lampman), Eloise’s daughter, and her partner, Agent Wiley (Bobby Naderi), begin investigating the matter, but there’s somebody else planning on getting revenge his own way.   Clay is ready to take revenge and heads over to the scamming headquarter building and we get some great action here.  Statham is great in this film and watching him enter the building with two gas cans and kicking everyone’s ass is a lot of fun. 

The big boss of the scamming network, Derek Danforth (Josh Hutcherson), sends some goons to kill Clay and they start by shooting up his bees.  It’s a bad idea and they pay for it in gruesome ways, including one of my favorite deaths where he cuts off a guy’s fingers and then ties him to a truck and drives him off a bridge.  It is hilarious. 

The only person that really understands the danger of Clay is Wallace (Jeremy Irons), a former CIA bigwig.  The Beekeeper program is a government program where the elite soldiers take care of “the hive”, systematically killing until they reach the queen bee.  The queen bee here is the mother of Derek, the President of the United States, (Jemma Redgrave). 

As the bodies pile up, Parker and Wiley continue to pursue Clay, leading to a finale that features more guys getting their asses kicked.  THE BEEKEEPER is an action film that follows the old formula that worked in the 80s and it works now.  Statham does a great job as Clay and they laid a foundation to build off this film. 

Thankfully, THE BEEKEEPER did well at the box office and showed that there is a demand for these sorts of films.  I really enjoyed it and the bad guys in this was perfect. Who wouldn’t like to see all of these scammers that take money from people taken out in the most brutal of ways?  This is a fun film and I highly recommend it.

Rating: 7/10

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By Geno McGahee

I’m not a big fan of superhero films, but Batman is one of the exceptions that I typically enjoy.  I like the idea of a rich guy sick of the assholes stealing shit and causing trouble.  I don’t think anything can beat THE DARK KNIGHT when it comes to superhero movies, but it’s not all positive with the Batman series.  I wasn’t a huge fan of the first two BATMAN movies by Tim Burton in 1989 and 1992 and hadn’t seen BATMAN FOREVER since it first came out in 1995.  I suspected it would be shit, but it was somewhat of a pleasant surprise.

Batman (Val Kilmer) starts off by suiting up and he’s got a major issue with Harvey Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones).  Two-Face is focused on killing Batman after he blames him for his disfigured face.  During a trial, a mobster throws acid in Two-Face’s face before Batman could jump in.  I didn’t know that Batman attended trials.  I think he’d be a distraction sitting there and I consider it really disrespectful.  If you’re in court, you dress nice. You don’t wear some rubbery black leather thing with a mask.  Also, doesn’t the guard ask everyone to take off their hats in court?  Wouldn’t he ask Batman to take off the mask? I guess Batman could have told him to fuck off.

Despite all attempts, Two=Face keeps failing to end Batman.  I heard that Tommy Lee Jones didn’t like the over-acting of Jim Carrey, but he is living in a glass house here.  Jones performance in this movie is something to behold.  He is hilarious in this.  99% of his performance is just him laughing maniacally over and over again and you’d think that would get old.  It didn’t.  I loved it.  

Edward (Jim Carrey) works for Bruce Wayne and has a great idea to use brainwaves to create a better television experience.  When he brings the idea to Wayne, it’s shot down because of the potential danger to the user.  This infuriates Edward and he now plans revenge and enjoys using riddles for some reason.   So, he becomes the Riddler and he soon teams up with Two-Face and things get really bonkers.

One character that I could have done without is Robin (Chris O’Donnell).  Robin starts off as one of those circus tight rope guys and Two-Face kills his family and now, for some reason, he is being fostered by Bruce Wayne.  What the fuck is that about?  One, he looked of age to live on his own.  Secondly, why the fuck is Wayne doing foster care?  I’d think he’d want to keep his house empty to keep his secret and this blows up in his face when Robin finds the Bat Cave. 

After discovering the Bat Cave, Robin takes the Batmobile on a joy ride and runs into a gang.  This film was in love with neon shit.  The entire gang is wearing face paint and attack with glow sticks.  It’s not surprising that the gang gets their asses kicked.  You don’t try to fight people with glow sticks. That’ll never work. 

With Two-Face and Riddler becoming more and more of a problem, Batman agrees to accept Robin as his partner and they team up to take out the bad guys.  Before that can happen, the evil duo find a way to infiltrate Wayne Manor and it’s hilarious.  It’s Halloween and kids come to the door and trick or treat.  Shortly after, there’s a knock and Alfred looks out and sees two “kids” saying “trick or treat” but it’s obviously Two-Face and Riddler in masks with big smiles.  It was so funny.  I know Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t do roles like this and might not like what Carrey does, but he gave his all here and Jones was absolutely amazing in this role.  We need more movies where he runs around maniacally laughing and trick or treating.

We get the big showdown with Batman, Robin, Riddler and Two-Face and we also have Chase (Nicole Kidman), the love interest of Bruce Wayne, there too.  Batman is wearing a new suit for this battle and they show it off. They show his Bat ass for about a good 5-10 seconds in that suit.  I’m not sure if they just loved the look of the Bat ass suit or thought that Val Kilmer filled it out nicely.  I suppose there could be a “best Bat ass” competition and this was just Kilmer throwing his hat in the ring.  Whatever the case, the editor could have shaved off two seconds. 

The final showdown goes as you’d expect.  There was no shocker.  Two-Face and Riddler did not win.  Sorry to spoil that for you, but they did provide some amusement.  Carrey and Jones both were great in their roles.  Carrey was just being Carrey.  Jones was bringing something new to the game that I’ve never seen.  He gave his all in this role and appeared to have a lot of fun.

BATMAN FOREVER isn’t horrible.  It’s not great either, but if you appreciate ridiculous overacting and consistent maniacal laughter, you are going to like this.  It’s odd that Harvey Two-Face flipped like this over the acid in his face.  I know it’d suck but to go completely crazy and blame Batman was fucked.  Why not blame the guard that let the mobster into the courtroom unchecked?  He could have confiscated that acid.   At least in DARK KNIGHT, Harvey was upset about his girlfriend being murdered on top of his face being fucked up.  He had reasons to go ape shit.  The BATMAN FOREVER Harvey overreacted and if they wanted to blame Batman, they could have had Batman walk over as Harvey is in pain from the acid and say something like “sucks for you.”

Without question, this movie is better than I remembered and the two hour running time didn’t really drag.  I recommend it.

Rating: 7/10

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By Geno McGahee

Film Masters is at it again, bringing a classic film back in the best way with the 4K version release of THE SWISS CONSPIRACY on Blu-ray and DVD. Like every release from Film Masters, this one is a collector’s item with a great booklet with photos and information about the film.  In a world of streaming, this shows why there are still collectors.   It’s nice to hold the case and enjoy the artwork and read through the booklet and you can’t put a streaming film on a shelf.

The film itself looks beautiful.  The restoration is really amazing with Film Masters recruiting Marc Wielage to bring it back and despite the great look, it still has that great 1970s gritty feel. 

The story concerns various people with bank accounts being blackmailed for a lot of money.  The bank president begins the investigation, but things are getting messy as the clients are being killed.  There’s a lot of fun in this film as the mystery thickens.

One of the coolest things about this film is the setting.  The beautiful Alps is a great backdrop for an action/drama to take place, especially with it featured almost like another character at the finale of this film.

THE SWISS CONSPIRACY release from Film Masters is a great collector’s item and good for any film lover that wants more from their movie.  I appreciate how they add a booklet with each release. It adds to the overall experience and they put tons of extras on top of that.  I highly recommend this one. I really liked the movie and it looked and sounded great. Look for it on February 20^th.

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By Geno McGahee

I am beginning to get an appreciation of “bad movies” from the 1990s.  I make it a point to watch one about once a month and as I was sifting through the live action stuff on Disney+, I saw the artwork for the 1996 movie “KAZAAM” with basketball star, Shaq.  I knew of this movie, but became more aware of it when it was compared to that Mandela Effect Sinbad movie SHAZAAM.  I remember both.  I prefer the Sinbad one.

KAZAAM was produced by Shaq and he obviously wanted to launch an acting and rapping career through it.  Go big or go home.  I can’t fault the guy for that approach, but there are some things I can fault him for and some things I can give him credit for. 

Max (Francis Capra) is a 12-year-old that is getting bullied at school and is dealing with his mother, Alice (Ally Walker), getting engaged to Travis (John Costelloe).  He’s not taking it well all around but I figured that when he met the genie, he’d fix the asses of the bullies.  That’s always satisfying. I remember watching THE NEVERENDING STORY and loving when that kid was riding that big furry fuck thing and chasing the bullies. 

After school, the bullies aren’t done and chase Max into an abandoned building and Max stumbles upon a boom box.  Somehow Kazaam (Shaq) was trapped in a boom box and carries it everywhere after his release.   Because Max was the one that bumped into it, he released the genie of the lamp and now has three wishes. 

The way Kazaam was released was spectacular by 1996 CGI standards as this big tornado unleashes him, which scares the bullies off.  Now Max saw the whole thing and still doesn’t buy that Kazaam is magical and walks away from him when offered three wishes.  It was so obvious that he had some powers and considering Max’s situation, you’d think he’d have wishes waiting for just a situation like this.   Kill the bullies.  Make Travis’s dick limp around his mother.  Get a better haircut.  There are so many wishes that he should have immediately spat out.

As Max skips school, Kazaam follows and there are some laughs and charm here.  Shaq hides behind small poles or walks with a newspaper over his face, lowering it to show his face.  There was some potential here for a good comedy with Kazaam’s antics. 

Max goes to find his father that he hasn’t seen for 10 years and he succeeds, locating Nick (James Acheson), a music producer that specializes in illegal stuff.  He’s in all sorts of trouble and isn’t the nicest guy in the world.  Despite that, Max wants to move in with him and work for the family business, but he’s denied by his dad although there was an interest in something else.  Nick wants Kazaam to perform at a show he’s putting on.  I have no idea why, but Shaq wanted to rap really bad and this is as good an excuse as any.

Finally putting his doubt aside, Max makes a wish and it’s the most stupid fucking wish in the history of wishes.  He wishes for junk food from the ground to the sky and candy and burgers hit the ground.  I never considered burgers junk food.  Whatever the case, Max gets his fill of candy bars and is now taking his time on his last two wishes.

At the show, Kazaam raps and the crowd goes wild.   I’m not a rap fan. I don’t listen to rap, but I know a good song when I hear it.  The Kazaam rap is NOT a good song, but it drives the crowd crazy and he seems to be enjoying himself.  He gets into it and then holds up his boom box and releases some magic into the crowd, getting the attention of crime kingpin, Malik (Marshall Manesh).  He knows a genie when he sees one and he plans to rub him the right way.

As Max learns more and more about his dad, Kazaam starts to get distracted with stardom and we get more Shaq rapping.  Why didn’t anyone tell him he wasn’t any good?  You’d think he’d have a friend tell him “hey man, don’t rap anymore.  It blows.”  But, when you can hire a bunch of extras to hoot and cheer, you can at least pretend you got the talent to be a big star in the field. 

The worst part of the film happens when we get a rap duet with Max and Kazaam.  I am glad I’m not a depressed person.  This scene would have pushed me over the edge.  I know what they were going for.  They needed a scene where Kazaam and Max finally become real friends and they did it, unfortunately, through rap.  What a painfully cringe scene it was. 

Malik puts a plan forth to kidnap Max and his father to lure Kazaam over where he can become the new master of the genie.  We get a silly finale with Kazaam turning Malik into a basketball and slam-dunking him into a vent.  I thought it was pretty funny and he should give a shout out to the sport he played.  Why not? 

The movie ends as you’d expect.   The genie gets freedom, Max accepts the new stepdad and all the bad guys are locked up, but it missed the mark in a lot of areas.  Max is unlikable.  It’s hard to root for a snarky asshole kid that’s a jerk off to everyone.  The chemistry between Shag and Capra isn’t there. I’m not sure why Capra was chosen for the role, but he’s not totally to blame.  Shaq was new to the acting game.

To the credit of this movie and specifically Shaq, it did show the potential of Shaq as a movie star.  He had comedic timing and was a presence on screen.  He was willing to be silly and also took time to feed his ego with the rapping, which is what slowed this movie down.  If we saw more focus on this one, this film would have done much better, but even with everything considered, it’s not as bad as it could have been.

KAZAAM is worth a watch and follows the formula set by many family movies at the time where a young kid is trying to cope with a broken family only to meet a supernatural force there to help.  It just does it worse than most due to Shaq trying to launch his acting career and rap career at the same time.   I still recommend it and I have to give major props to Marshell Manesh for the best performance in the film.  He was very entertaining in this.

Rating: 5/10

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By Geno McGahee

Animal attack movies used to be done with regularity and done well.  Movies like ORCA, FROGS, SQUIRM, NIGHT OF THE LEPUS and GRIZZLY were good fun.  Those were the days and then the Sci-Fi network stepped in and things got bad for this sub-genre.  If I never see a shark movie or a no budget shark movie rip off again, it’ll be too soon.  So, I wasn’t sure if I would ever watch another animal attack movie again, but I decided to give COCAINE BEAR a watch and it’s certainly better than any Sci-Fi network attempt.  That’s for sure.

We begin with a plane going down and the drug trafficker dropping all the bags of cocaine into a national park.  He grabs his parachute and jumps out and the chute doesn’t open and he plummets to his death.  This is where the “based on actual events” comes into play.  You don’t need much to go on when you say “based on a true story”.  Look at TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.  I used to be terrified of that because it was true.  It was as true as COCAINE BEAR.

The immediate problem with this movie is that it doesn’t take itself seriously at all and that could be seen as a good thing, but it’s not.  I like films that are silly and embrace the stupid topic that it’s based on, but certain aspects should have been taken seriously like character development.  The only character that was really focused on in this movie was the bear.  All the dialogue between characters doesn’t really push the story forward and is just there. 

The film begins with a couple that are just there to be killed and the bear is introduced and it’s done pretty well.  I didn’t understand why the boyfriend allowed his girlfriend to be dragged away without trying to save her at all, but I enjoyed the opening scene.

So, the drug kingpin, Syd (Ray Liotta), sending a couple of his guys to the park to retrieve his drugs and Liotta is always good despite not having much to work with.  As the two head over to the park, they encounter some punks and a detective, Bob (Isiah Whitlock JR), that is also seeking the money.  As this happens, the bear is causing all sorts of trouble and it is fun to watch.  The film focusing almost exclusively and unevenly on the bear is a complaint of mine, but the one thing they focused on they did it well. 

An actress I usually really like, Margo Martindale plays Ranger Liz, who eventually goes to try to hunt the bear, is really annoying in this.  She was great in MILLION DOLLAR BABY.  She was actually one of the big highlights but she was in a real role. I think everyone knows a trashy relative or neighbor like she played.  Her role as Ranger Liz was empty and was difficult to invest in.

The characters that are interested in the cocaine got into battle and the bear gets more people to kill and they made the ending especially gruesome, which was nice.  I just walked away from this film immediately forgetting it.  I can see why it was popular.  It’s one of those movies that you can watch, walk away from and come back at any time and not miss anything.  It’s a popcorn movie that tried to capture the magic of the 70’s animal attack movies but it doesn’t have the depth of most of them. 

COCAINE BEAR is OK.  I liked that it took place in the 1980s.  That gets a couple of points out of the gates.  Outside of the 1980s and the fun factor of the bear, I didn’t get much from this one.  I still recommend it but only if you’re in the mood for mindless carnage.

Rating: 5/10

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By Geno McGahee

In 1985, THE BREAKFAST CLUB was a big hit and both Judd Nelson and Ally Sheedy were in high demand.  The pair was reunited in the 1986 action/drama BLUE CITY and it didn’t do nearly the business THE BREAKFAST CLUB did and is basically a forgotten film at this point.

Billy Turner (Nelson) returns home to Blue City to discover that his father, the Mayor, was murdered.  He is not happy and immediately visits his stepmother, Malvina (Anita Morris), and begins harassing her.  One of the biggest problems in this film is that the person that you’re supposed to support is very unlikable, but there are plenty of issues with this flick to discuss beyond that.

After a visit to Chief Reynolds (Paul Winfield), Billy now has a top suspect in the murder of his father.  It’s the new boyfriend of Malvina, Kerch (Scott Wilson), and he is running a lot of seedy shit in town.  He has a casino and dog track and has a bunch of mean goons and dancing girls.  He’s not a guy to be fucked with but Billy is going to do just that.

While in town, Billy reunites with old friends.  He convinces his old best friend, Joey (David Caruso) to team up with him to take down Kerch and somehow convinces Annie (Ally Sheedy) to date him.  It’s bad enough that Billy is fucking up his own life, he has to drag in these two people and risk their lives too.  That’s some bullshit right there.

Joey and Billy go to the dog track and rob it and fuck up the races.  Chief Reynolds ignores it because he was friends with the dead Mayor, but it still seems fucked that Kerch didn’t file a report and get Billy arrested.  I can’t imagine Reynolds being able to cover for Billy with all the witnesses to the theft.  They had guns.  They shot the guns.  They hit some poor nerd that was counting the money.  Who’s speaking up for that nerd?  He got the shaft.

The next big stop is the casino and this is where it really gets fucked.  At least Dwayne Johnson had a good reason to smash up the joint in WALKING TALL.  He was fucked over without question.  Billy is just going on an assumption that his stepmother’s boyfriend knows or was involved in the death of his father. 

The tables are turned over, the slot machines are destroyed and the goons are roughed up.  On top of that, Billy is hitting random card dealers.  What a total fucking asshole.  These poor guys are just trying to get by and make a living and they get beat down.  Once again, after destroying a casino, the law doesn’t get involved.  They know about it.  There were a shit ton of witnesses to the destruction and gunfire and they are still free men.

Kerch has had it with the bullshit and sets Billy and Joey up, sending his goons down to take them out.  He’s not fucking around either.  He’s sent Zeus (Tom Lister JR) and a guy in a leisure suit along with a couple other guys.  If somebody sent Zeus after me and I saw a dude in a leisure suit with him, I’d be terrified. 

Sadly, the dude in the leisure suit is killed.  I hate to see that.  I don’t think anyone in a leisure suit should die in it.  Thankfully, Zeus got away and the cops finally get involved and arrest Billy and Joey and then immediately let them go.  What the fuck is with this police force? 

Shit hits the fan with Joey taken out and now Billy is out for blood and more people die for absolutely no reason.  All this shit for one death and his dad was fucking old.  I saw the picture of his father on the fireplace and he looked like he was 70 years old.  In that high stress job he had, he couldn’t have had more than five years left anyway and now Billy has this hard on to kill everyone in town to avenge the death?  What a crock of shit.

BLUE CITY could have been a really good movie.  The writing was good and some of the cast was tremendous including Sheedy, Caruso and especially Winfield, but the star of the film, Nelson, sinks it.  He has this fucking smirk on his face the entire movie that is just irritating and he does shit that is supposed to make him look cool, but it makes him look like an asshole. 

Nelson is trying to channel his role in THE BREAKFAST CLUB here and maybe the director wanted that too, but the bad boy thing flops badly here and his performance isn’t good.  He’s just so unlikable in this and the shots at humor fail badly and there is no way to root for him. 

Despite suffering through Judd Nelson’s performance, this is a good film that could have been so much better had they had another actor in the lead role. 

Rating: 6/10

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