By Melissa Antoinette Garza

Halloween is coming quickly and I’m certainly in the horror mood. I decided to watch an old episode of TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1989). Generally, I remember every episode vividly and have seen most several times, but for whatever reason I never recall seeing this one before. As the story contains a clown doll, I find it unusual I’d forget it. I find clowns particularly horrifying. I blame viewing both GHOSTHOUSE (1988) and POLTEGERGEIST (1982) at far too young of an age. So either somehow this episode got away from me or my memory is not as good as it once was.

STRUNG ALONG opens with retired kid’s TV show host, Joseph Renfield (Donald O’Connor) sitting in a chair, depressed out of his mind, watching old episodes of his show.  There he was a masterful puppeteer beloved by all, but that had been decades ago.

At first, it seems that his young wife, Ellen (Patricia Charbonneau) wants Joseph to be happy and well.  She encourages him to go outside and have fun, but when he gets an opportunity to do his show again, she seems less than thrilled.  Still, she goes along with the plan as long as he doesn’t overdo it.

Joseph hires an assistant, David (Zach Galligan) and the two men bond right away. As the two men bond, Ellen’s behavior becomes more erratic.  She begins disappearing and within no time, Joseph suspects the worst. He believes Ellen is unfaithful, but before he can question her an argument erupts.

Ellen claims David is trying to take over the reunion show. She storms out of the room, when David reveals that he also thinks Ellen is cheating. He offers to spy on her acting class.  When he goes to leave the home, Ellen confronts him once again and demands he be fired.

As everything in his life erupts, Joseph relies on his puppets to guide him; and they seemingly do not like Ellen.

Things are not as they appear and even when the truth of each party is revealed, there is a secondary twist that adds a supernatural and fun element.

In truth there are no real scares nor are there any genuine surprises; but it’s still a lot of fun!

Zach Galligan, as always, was great. He is a quintessential cult icon and one I am always happy to see be involved with any project.

Patricia Charbonneau did a fantastic job in conveying the evolution from seemingly supportive wife to  wicked, spiteful, beast in such a short amount of time.

Donald O’Connor was believable and sympathetic in the role of the has-been desperate for past glory.  It’s always so sad to see the once beloved and famous celebrities of yesteryear cling onto an industry pushing them out. The tale touches the same tone (admittedly not as well nor to the level or degree) as WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE (1962), but changes the formula and moral lesson while adding levity.

Overall, I really enjoyed the production.  For those who don’t own them, the episode (and many others) is currently up on YOUTUBE for free. I can’t guarantee how long it’s going to go before HBO claims copyright or the channel owner gets shut down, but in the meantime, enjoy.

Scared Stiff Rating:  7/10

The post TALES FROM THE CRYPT: STRUNG ALONG (1992) – Episode Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

The amazing artistic talents of Stephen Garza combined with the fantastic writing skills of Sven Straatveit come together to make one of the most enteratining, exciting, and fun horror comics of today.

Offered online for FREE Viewing for the first time ever.  Please meet the horror host with the most The Mysterious Crocodile.

The first story Confessions From Creepaway Camp starts off with a BANG introducing a terrifying Albino Sasquatch – and that’s not the only monster to show up!

The comic follows the teenage love affair of Brad and Tina who both have some secrets they’re not telling one another.

The two are being stalked by the Sasquatch that has murder in his eyes and is designed in such a way that is different than any Bigfoot or Yeti previously seen in any medium.

This fantastic throwback to the heyday of horror comics with monstrous hosts captures both the essence of iconic stories like Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror yet manages to add a modern twist with elements of surprise and tons of originality.

Despite my obvious bias of Stephen Garza being my husband, I must say that I loved his work before I even met him.  I saw his drawinings before our first date and found them breathtaking.  He has only improved his craft and this recent entry that is told brilliantly through Sven Straatveit’s dialouge is something worth paying top dollar for.  The fact that they are offering it free, is a no-brainer.

I can’t suggest this enough!  You can read this on www.tumblr.com at http://mysteriouscrocodile.tumblr.com/.

Enjoy This One on the House!

THE NEWEST HORROR COLLECTION IS UNLEASHED – ORDER NOW!

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The Secret is the final episode in the second season, and I’m happy to say that the season ended on a high note.

Theodore (Mike Simmrin) is the oldest child in an orphanage with little chance of being adopted.  Miss Hagstead (Georgann Johnson) is the strict warden of the orphans and has very low tolerance for Theodore.  She punishes him for sneaking an apple and locks him in his room.  When asking about his real parents, he is told that they died when he was just a baby, but no other information is given.

One day, Mrs. Colbert (Grace Zabriskie) and Mr. Colbert (William Frankfather) show up at the orphanage with their butler Tobias (Larry Drake) to adopt a child.  The Colberts are very unique.  They have a gothic style to them and a strange aura surrounds their personality.

Nonetheless, they choose Theodore and at first he doesn’t want to go.  He’s afraid he’ll miss his friends.  Hagstead orders him to leave with them.  When he gets to his new home, he is told not to touch anything outside of his room as they are of high value, breakable, and heirlooms.  When brought to his room, it’s like a toy store.  He loves it but then is locked inside of the room.  He is never allowed out when his parents aren’t home.  They seem to be constantly at work, and Theodore is left home with Tobias.

He asks to go out but is told they are too afraid he’ll get lost in the woods.  He asks for them to take him out roller-skating or anywhere other than home, but they always seem to make excuses.  Since he’s unable to leave anywhere, he becomes good friends with Tobias.

One night, his parents decide to disclose the secret they’ve been hiding from him.  Unbeknownst to the Colberts, Theodore has a secret himself.

This one is very interesting though not scary at all.  It’s a fun tale and one that I greatly enjoy.  The acting is good and the plot though simple was captivating.

Scared Stiff Rating:  7/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: The Secret (1990) – Episode Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

Back in the late 80s, there was a popular TV talk show called The Morton Downey Jr. Show. It was a heated show where Downey would yell a lot.  Generally, the topics would be of a political nature but there were episodes that focused on entertainment acts as well.

I remember as a child watching it all of the time.  I loved it back then.  My older sister, older brother, mother and I would sit in the living room and watch it as a family.  I tried to find a few clips on youtube and the few that were on seemed fun.  I know the show was controversial back in the day, but I also remember thinking it was great.  I’ll admit that I’m not above that type of programming now.  Though, I thoroughly dislike Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, Dr. Phil, Ricki Lake, etc. I do DVR The Steve Wilkos Show. I skip the episodes about infidelity and paternity, but I do love the ones where Wilkos tells off child predators and wife beaters.  Now, I don’t remember Morton going after abusers, but if I’m not mistaken I do think he told off the Klan.

After his show, I recall Morton Downey appearing on pro-wrestling and fighting Rowdy Roddy Piper.  As a child, believing wrestling was real, my alliance quickly shifted to Piper, as I loved him far more than Downey.  I also remember there was a Morton Downey Jr. board game that my brother had.  It was the oddest thing.  It came with Morton Downey masks.  I wish we still had that because it was the most bizarre thing in the world.

So as I was going through the Tales from the Crypt DVDs, it dawned on me that Morton Downey was in one of those episodes as well.  Sure enough, in the second season he starred in an episode called Television Terror. I was pretty certain that it was one of the better episodes; and I’m happy to say that my memory served me correctly on this one.

The episode is actually something that is quite before its time.  It has aspects that are reminiscent of a found footage movie yet still uses the traditional method of introducing the characters and plot.

Horton Rivers (Morton Downey Jr.) is an investigative journalist aiming for his highest ratings yet.  He decides to venture into an abandoned boarding house said to be haunted.  Like most places that suffer from paranormal events, this house had a bloody history.  Ada Ritter (Jeannie Epper) who owned the residence snapped and began murdering the tenants.  She butchered at least twelve people and then killed herself.  It was only after her suicide that an investigation took place and the bodies of the others were found.

Horton tells the story of the Ritter Boarding House with a sensationalistic, over-the-top tone.  He pushes everyone on set to their breaking point with his complaints, attitude and arrogance.  He is pompous, sexist, and to put it plainly a douchebag.  None of his employees like him, yet they tolerate his presence.

Though Horton is warned not to enter, he defies the objection and with his camera man walks in.  At first, they are simply going through the rooms and explaining to the viewers what happened in each one.

During the walkthrough, strange things begin to happen.  Music can be heard, moans and voices come from another room, water drips though the utilities are off, and the camera equipment stops functioning.

Matters get worse, when Horton begins seeing apparitions and the spirits make it clear they did not want to be bothered.

This is actually a pretty frightening episode.  Those who find Poltergeist (1982), Grave Encounters (2011) or The Amityville Horror (1979) entertaining would really find enjoyment in this.  It’s delightfully scary, well-acted, and very compelling.

I would say that this and Fitting Punishment are my two favorite episodes thus far and both are absolutely superb.

Scared Stiff Rating:  9/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: Television Terror (1990)- Episode Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

Jim Korman (Harry Anderson) illustrates pictures for the Tales from the Crypt comic.  He’s struggling with his latest picture when his wife Mildred (Colleen Camp) comes in and berates him in front of the other workers.  She makes fun of his artwork, accuses him of cheating, and demands that he take experimental drugs to help her get pregnant.  When he voices his concern about the possible side effects, she silences him with her shriek voice and he backs down.

When she leaves, he goes back to his drawing with more fervor than ever and makes a huge monster.

Soon the side effects of the fertility drugs is shown.  The monsters that he draws are coming to life and entering the real world.

The acting is good.  The plot is pretty simple but effective nonetheless.  This will appeal to fans of Killer Klowns from Outerspace (1988) and Explorers (1985). It’s silly and stupid and over-the-top but not without charm.  It definitely has a cult and campy feel to it.

Anderson always has a level of cuteness to him.  I grew up watching him in Night Court and just adored him in it.  He also was great in Stephen King’s IT (1990) which other than the awful ending, is probably one of the greatest mini-series of all time.  He fits into the role of Korman well.

Cynthia Gibb also does well as Korman’s romantic interest and a reporter who is trying to get to the bottom of the reports of monsters.

Camp, though a complete caricature, fits well in the episode as the stereotypical insane wife.

The make-up on the monsters is the best part of the episode.  It makes one long for the days before CGI.

Scared Stiff Rating:  4.5/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: Korman’s Kalamity (1990) – EPISODE REVIEW appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

Ezra Thornberry (Moses Gunn) is a mortician who is void of morals, integrity, and a conscience.  He steals from his deceased clients.  Anything he can get his hands on is fair game.  He even pulls the gold teeth out of the mouths of the dead justifying it by saying, “God helps them who helps themselves.”  He drains the bodies without using the proper chemicals simply to save a buck.  To put it plainly, Ezra is really bad guy.

When Ezra’s sister dies, her son Bobby (Jon Clair) goes to live with him.  Rather than take care of his family, Ezra forces his nephew to sleep on a mortician’s table in a room with nothing else.   Immediately, he puts Bobby to work.  When Bobby questions Ezra’s unscrupulous methods, Ezra hits and berates him.  Still wanting to please his uncle, Bobby does everything he can to help but the abuse just gets worse.  When the faucet drips, Bobby gets hit.  Even when Ezra orders a pine coffin rather than oak to save money and is caught by his customer, Bobby gets blamed and beaten.

One night, Ezra beats Bobby with a crowbar leaving him with an awful spinal injury.  The doctors proclaim he will never walk again.  With Bobby unable to work, Ezra begins selling off the young man’s belongings and then decides he’s better off dead.  He concocts a plan to murder Bobby.

Not knowing his uncle’s plans, Bobby struggles up the stairs with his crutches.  Ezra waits for him at the top of the stairs and throws a basketball at him full force.  As a result, Bobby falls all the way down and Ezra’s despicable mission is accomplished.  People in town question the death of Bobby but no one has any proof that Ezra is behind it.

Without any remorse Ezra drains the blood from Bobby and puts him in the pine coffin.  Bobby is too tall and his feet hang off the ends of the box.  He callously tells the body that he will not be buying another one,  and cuts his nephew’s feet off.

Of course, the tale doesn’t end there.  Ezra has to pay for his sins.

I don’t recall ever seeing this episode before and I have to say it’s one of the best.  The villain is so evil and diabolical that the viewers will cheer for his demise.  Surprisingly, despite his awful nature, the scenes where he is getting his just deserts is actually unsettling.  I was happy to see him punished but there were a few moments that were genuinely scary.

The pace is terrific, the dialogue is fantastic, and the atmosphere easily pulls the viewers in.

One thing that really stood out as such a good choice was  to have Ezra quote the bible in effort to defend his heinous actions.  I know so many who attempt to do that, of course on a lesser level, but to see that implemented added realism to the character.  Though, Ezra was horrible, he wasn’t comically awful.  There was a genuineness about the portrayal that made him absolutely unlikable.

The acting all around was topnotch.  Moses Gunn was such a phenomenal actor and this was no exception.  He delivered his lines with such force and added an aura of entitlement to Ezra making him even more hated.

Jon Clair was great too.  Bobby could not have garnered anymore sympathy.  Clair’s performance really highlighted the struggles his character was going through after his mother died.  It focused on his willingness to please Ezra and the battle within himself knowing that his uncle’s actions were wrong.  There was also a silent strength to Bobby that the audience can’t help but hope comes out.

I cannot suggest this episode enough.  I was surprised with the quality and I actually found myself wishing it was longer.

Scared Stiff Rating:  9/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: Fitting Punishment (1990) – EPISODE REVIEW appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

Judy (Carol Kane) is quite fed up with her husband Donald (Brian Kerwin), and with good reason.  When solicitors come to the door, he answers it with a shotgun.  He even goes as far to point an unloaded gun at Judy’s head and pulls the trigger.  He then acts dumbfounded when she becomes stressed out telling her, “You’re not yourself today.  Snap out of it!”

One afternoon, when Donald is gone, an old lady (Frances Bay) comes to the door offering cosmetics.  She invites the woman in and remarks on a beautiful necklace that the saleswoman is wearing.  The lady allows Judy to put it on.  When she does the amulet glows green and then the two switch bodies.  The old lady is actually a witch who wants to be young again.

Donald tricks the witch by telling her that Judy has cancer and is going to die in a few weeks.  The old woman switches back willingly, but Judy’s obsession with the necklace continues.  Donald warns her to stay away with it, but she can’t.

This is a strange tale.  It isn’t scary nor is it very funny.  There are a few comical lines in it but overall it’s a pretty lame story.

I do love Carol Kane.  Seeing her in anything is always a plus.  She sells the best that she can and at the very least adds charisma to the character.  Still, the writing and dialogue are poor.

I think the original concept for this tale wasn’t awful.  An old witch switching bodies with a young woman makes sense and if fleshed out could be interesting, but the story really stopped at the concept alone.

Scared Stiff Rating:  2/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: Judy You’re Not Yourself Today (1990) – EPISODE REVIEW appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

By Melissa Antoinette Garza

Ever since Billy (Bobcat Goldthwait) was a child he wanted to be a ventriloquist.  When he was 11, he met his idol Mr. Ingles (Don Rickles) who was the most popular in his profession.  He used a puppet by the name of Morty and the act was gold.   After the show, Billy went up to Mr. Ingles for an autograph.  Ingles told Billy that if he ever needed anything to seek him out.  That night, there was a fire after the show and Mr. Ingles never performed again claiming to have lost his hand in the blaze.

Fifteen years later, Billy finds Mr. Ingles and asks him to come to one of his performances.  At first, Ingles refuses but Billy is desperate so Ingles agrees to watch one of his shows.  Billy bombs.  His lips move, his jokes are lame, and the crowd hates him.  Ingles is disappointed and goes home with a prostitute.  Billy comes by later and finds out that the woman Ingles left with is dead.  Billy accuses Ingles, but Ingles swears he’s innocent, but he does know the identity of the killer.  He claims it’s Morty.

Billy’s outrage turns to sympathy.  He believes his hero has gone crazy and takes the puppet down from the shelf to show Ingles that he’s not real.  That’s when Ingles shows Billy his Siamese twin which is attached to the lower part of his arm and is just a head with two small arms and hands.  Billy is horrified and he teams up with Ingles to try and kill the evil twin.

Of course, like most episodes of Tales from the Crypt there is a twist and this one can be seen a mile away.

Though, this isn’t horrible, I am disappointed with this episode.  First, I love horror having to do with ventriloquists.  There is something genuinely creepy about those puppets and when done correctly, the results can make for great horror.  Secondly, I don’t think that Rickles and Goldthwait were properly used.  Both are capable of so much more.  They’re funny and they’re good actors.   If only they had more to work with but the writing was rather weak, the ending was lame, and the dialogue between the two main characters was unemotional.

It’s still worth a watch but not nearly as good as other work done by either lead.

On a side note, anyone who wants to see what Goldthwait is capable of should check out God Bless America (2011). He both wrote and directed it.  It’s not only one of the best movies I’ve seen in quite some time, it’s intelligent and thought provoking.

Scared Stiff Rating: 3.5/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: The Ventriloquist’s Dummy (1990) appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

This is one of my favorite episodes.  I would always look forward to this one when it would replay on HBO.  It isn’t that it’s particularly frightening, but it’s most certainly an original tale with great acting and a conclusion that offers a punch.

Mary Jo (Patricia Arquette) is a young woman held captive on a farm by perverted George Yates (Chelcie Ross) and his wife Louisa (Susan Blommaert).  She is forced to help out with the chores as they had caught her stealing and threaten to call the police if she refused to assist.

Not only does the Yates use her as free labor, but she is also frequently assaulted.  With Louisa the abuse is just physical and emotional.  She is aided with a walking stick because she suffered polio and uses the stick as a weapon to beat Mary Jo with it.  She threatens violence if Mary Jo doesn’t complete her chores correctly.

The abuse from George is far worse as she constantly has to worry about being sexually assaulted.  George doesn’t even try to hide his attraction for Mary Jo.  He peeps on her and gives her tasks to do so he can get closer to her.  It’s obvious that he makes her feel uncomfortable and she tries to stay from him, but he is persistent.  One day, while she is milking the cow, he comes up behind her and tries to force himself on her.  She fights back and as he attempts to rape her, George hears his wife coming down to check what the racket is about.  He hits Mary Jo over the head with a glass bottle.

She escapes while George tries to deny doing anything to Louisa.  She goes through the field and passes out in front of a tall scarecrow.  It is here that she begins having delusions that she is in a relationship with the scarecrow.  She tells Louisa and George that she’s in love with him.  George concocts an evil plan and decides to get dressed like the scarecrow in effort to seduce Mary Jo.

Needless to say, things do not go as planned.

This tale is just as good as I remember it.  It most certainly has a moral to it.  It’s an intelligent story with a surprising twist.

Scared Stiff Rating:  8.5/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: Four Sided Triangle (1990) appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

Marty Slash (Lee Arenberg) is a concert promoter hosting a show to save the Amazon.  Iggy Pop performs and with his help, Slash raises a million dollars.  Instead of putting the money where it should go, he decides to steal the cash.  He takes all the money out of the bank unbeknownst to any of the performers.

All is going well, until he begins hearing his conscience (Sam Kinison) warning him not to go through with it.  He does his best to ignore his inner voice despite how loud it is.

Just as he’s about to escape with the money, a sexy woman dressed in leather and with a black wig shows up.  As the two are getting close the hottie reveals herself Ms. Kilbasser (Katey Sagal), his banker.  She informs him that she’s aware of his plan and saw him withdraw all the money earlier in the day.  He asks her what she wants and is shocked when she demands half of the money.  His conscience pleads with him to call the police and to return the money.  The more he ignores his inner voice the louder it becomes.  Rather than listen to his conscience he kills Ms. Kilbasser and stuffs her in Donny Osmond’s drum case.

The police arrive to ask him to turn the music down and his conscience tries to demand that he confess about the money and the murder.  He’s able to get the cop out of the room and remain silent, but the voice doesn’t stop.  It drives him crazier and crazier to a point where he can’t deal with it anymore.

This isn’t scary at all.  It’s definitely a re-imagination of Edgar Allen Poe’s A Tell Tale Heart. It isn’t the best retelling I’ve seen but it is quite unique.  It’s most certainly entertaining, well thought-out, and enjoyable.

The acting is topnotch.  The entire cast is great in their roles.  I grew up watching Ms. Sagal on Married with Children and I’ve always loved the character of Peggy Bundy.  Married with Children was such a groundbreaking, one-of-a-kind, hilarious sitcom.  I really believe it was as significant as All in the Family, but never received the respect it deserved.  The dysfunctional bunch were a pleasure to watch and I miss the show so much.

Sam Kinison did a great job as the inner voice.  I always thought his death was one that was especially tragic since he had put his life together and had stopped abusing drugs and alcohol.

Lee Arenberg did great in the lead.  He was over-the-top but the role demanded it and he was able to keep an element of realism to the character while acting insane.

Scared Stiff Rating:  7.5/10

The post Tales from the Crypt: For Cryin’ Out Loud (1990) – Episode Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.