By Geno McGahee

There is something incredibly charming about indie horror films from around this time.  I loved going to the video stores and picking up a couple of these low budget horror films and it is a time I missed, but I’m a collector and I own just about every movie ever made.  So, I dug into my collection and decided to watch MEMORIAL DAY, a 1999 slasher that I don’t think I’ve ever seen. 

Around this time, horror had found a new direction with SCREAM being a huge hit but there were still a lot of FRIDAY THE 13^TH fans and this film is obviously created by somebody that had an appreciation for both. 

We begin with Tyra (Martine Shandles) and her boyfriend getting ready to get down, but when he goes out to his car to retrieve a condom, he gets murdered by a masked killer in a pretty shitty mask.  It looks like it was made out of paper mache, but I’ve seen worse in the no budget horror world.  After he kills the boyfriend, he goes upstairs and sneaks in, blindfolding Tyra and tying her to the bed.  Why she never opened her eyes or realized he was wearing latex gloves is a mystery, but maybe she was just so into the passion.  Maybe she assumed he put the condoms on his hands.

We now have a group of young adults on their way to a lake and they are hiding a secret that involves the death of somebody.  I guess somebody knows what they did last summer, or three summers ago as the story goes.  The most annoying character is Seth (Derek Nieves).  One, he has yellow hair and he’s just obnoxious.  He’s got a girlfriend, Reagan (Jasmine Trice).  I’m not sure why she is with him or puts up with him, but it’s a movie and this might just be movie magic.

This group has a rotund friend that dresses really poorly.  I’ve met plenty of fat guys that know how to dress nice, but this guy just puts on shit to make himself look really sloppy on top of having a weight problem.  Just looking at him, I knew he wasn’t going to be the hero of this film and, spoiler alert, they kill him off first.  I would have loved if this story was about him buying new clothing.

More details come out about the death of this guy known as “Danny Boy”, where he fell off a boat and died.  The killer knows that they let Danny Boy drown three summers ago and that is what is going on here.  Little did they know, Danny Boy had a brother and he is the one that is on a killing spree. 

When the killer is revealed, it’s quite amusing.   Because Danny Boy was disabled, the killer wanted to make everyone else disabled before he killed them.  It’s a new twist on this SCREAM formula I guess. 

MEMORIAL DAY gets a few points and it may not be fair to other films that I have reviewed.  One, I really miss the video store days and this is one of those films that would be sitting right there when I went in, screaming “Geno rent me.”  The other unfair advantage is that modern indie horror is so in the shitter that it can’t help but to look better than it did when it was first released.   Why can’t indie horror filmmakers make movies like this anymore?   This film has some heart and love of the game to it.

On top of the unfair advantages I give this one, I have to say that I enjoyed MEMORIAL DAY and especially liked the ending.  I didn’t expect it and it was so hilariously absurd that I respected it.   I’m going to recommend this one. 

Rating: 7/10

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By Geno McGahee

The year is 1988 and the VHS camcorders became commonplace, which led to many youngsters using the cameras to create art through this new medium.  The horror movie market at the video stores created their shot on video films that found their way on the shelves and the kids that had parents that owned camcorders decided to give it a go.  I know because I was one of those kids that made short films from age 12 and on and was doing so in 1988, much like the Wilkinson brothers.

THE VIOLENCE MOVIE was a short film shot in 1988 and there really isn’t a lot to it, outside of some blood and the obvious love of the horror genre.  FRIDAY THE 13^TH was huge in the late 80s and that inspired this film, and it is as basic as it can get. There is almost zero dialogue outside of one poor guy saying “Hey Joe, it’s me, your best friend” before being killed, which I found funny.  This is a film that would make the Wilkinson family and friends laugh and they’d enjoy it, but the majority would not.  As a guy in the same position, I actually found a lot of joy in it.  I appreciate the love of the genre and the creativity, but there’s not much too it.  A crazy escapes prison and tries to kill Joe and Joe fight back against this hockey mask-wearing killer. 

I should probably talk about THE VIOLENCE MOVIE 2, a follow up that was included on the same DVD that I picked up.  The sequel to the short film is much better than the original with the newscaster (who I believe to be Joe’s best friend that was killed in the original) being attacked by the killer.  We get more dialogue, but not much more.  We do get some neat fighting on top of a roof, which was a nice touch, and I’m sure the parents were not wise to what their children were doing.

THE VIOLENCE MOVIE 2 is what you’d expect it to be.  It was two kids showing their love of horror and of Jason Voorhees.  If you hold this to any standard, you could tear it apart, but if you see what they saw and understand that this is two horror fans showing their love of the genre in a very unique way, there is plenty of enjoyment to be had.

As a backyard filmmaker in my early years with countless short films from the time I was12, this really clicked with me.  The 1980s was such a special time and the camcorders were part of it and led to many great things like THE VIOLENCE MOVIE series.  I recommend these if you don’t have a stick up your ass and hate raw shit.

Collective Rating: 6/10

The post The Violence Movie 1 & 2 (1988) – Friday the 13th –Inspired Backyard Cinema DVD – Horror Movie Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

Mark Pirro is pretty badass. He wrote, rewrote, re-rewrote and directed NUDIST COLONY OF THE DEAD (1991). It says so in the opening credits. He also apparently made this film on only a $35,000 budget, and it’s awesome.

The film starts when Judge Rhinehole (Forrest J. Ackerman) proceeding over a case between Sunny Butts Nudist Colony and some churchgoing assholes. The nudists are led by Mrs .Druple (Rachel Latt). She’s an older woman who has breasts that hang to the ground. She hates the holy rollers who are trying to shut the colony down, and she’s very sensitive about her age.

The nudists lose because the scumbag religious douche-bags secured enough signatures from the town to scare Rhinehole into taking the city property and giving it to the church. The nudists decide to kill themselves with poison punch because if they can’t be naked, they don’t want to live. Druple convinces them to partake in a curse that will bring them out of their graves when zealots come onto the property.

Ranger Bygbutts (Marcus Aurelius Daniels) raps about an encounter he had with the dead nudists when they returned, danced, spoke and killed a bunch of kids. The police came and shut the place down, but a religious retreat is planned and put into motion.

A bunch of teenagers are sent to the colony to stop them from having sex and getting high. Ooooh, how I hate religious buzzkills! The retreat is led by Miss Stucco (Bea Lindgren) and Ms. Luger (Darwyn Carson), two churchgoers who pushed the lawsuit. They are the first attacked.

The next day, all the campers rise and shine. They get together and do a fabulous, bat-shit crazy, music number called Inky Dinky Doo Dah Morning.

After their song, Shelly (Deborah Stern) finds a decapitated head in the pool. She runs to get help and they break-in to the cabin with all the paperwork. There they find paperwork which details all the murders that occurred before.

When they get back to the tents, there’s a bunch of dead bodies and one living head. The head tells them that it was the nudists who killed everyone. The living teens jump into the van to escape, but the entire engine was ripped out of the car.

They decide to sing a song to God that they aren’t afraid of death convinced he is testing them. They think they can trick him into thinking that they don’t care about their lives so that the test will end and they can survive.

It’s not politically correct and some of the humor would find difficulty with today’s audience. One character in particular, Juan Tu (Peter Napoles) speaks with a stereotypical Asian accent that will certainly make some angry. I’d ask viewers to withhold harsh judgement and trust that no offense was intended. In my opinion, Pirro used it much like SOUTH PARK does with a touch of irony. There’s a few telltale signs, but it is most telling when Lou (Steve Wilcox) uses an Irish slur to insult him.

Lou, by the way, is my favorite character. He LOVES his Bible. He will jump thru a glass window to get it back. He also constantly asks God to make his enemies burn in hell, but then apologizes. I love him. He’s hilarious!

This film is great. There are so many hilarious moments. In one scene, Rev. Ritz (Dave Robinson) gives a sermon where he says that you “can’t praise the Lord if they have genitals in their mouth.” It’s ridiculous.

This entire production is ridiculous. I love the music. The zombies get a number and even Bygbutts gets a second in before the conclusion that sees a demented reappearance of Rev. Ritz.

Oddly, I remember when I was really young I saw one of Pirro’s other films A POLISH VAMPIRE IN BURBANK (1983). I was like 4 years old, so I remember nothing. After watching this I went back and re-watched the trailer for the vamp flick and it looks equally fantastic so expect that review in the next few days.

I also have to give it up to Mark Pirro for calling his production company Pirromont. That’s ballsy and awesome. I’m telling you – that dude is a badass.

Currently, this is on AMAZON PRIME for free and if you haven’t already queued it up, do it now! I love it.

Scared Stiff Rating: 7.5/10

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A distributor went to prison for 18 months because he refused to edit even one second of this video nasty cult classic. Now, we’re getting somewhere!

THE NIGHTMARE (1981) opens with psychologically damaged George Tatum (Baird Stafford) in a straight jacket screaming as visions of the head of his decapitated mother plague his mind. Orderlies rush in and give him a shot to calm his insanity. It works momentarily and subdues him. Years back, he had went bonkers and murdered an entire family. Now, he’s on an experimental drug program that seems to be having an adverse reaction or two.

George is still bothered by recurring nightmares and flashbacks of an S&M, bondage game with his mother on top of a man. It goes horribly wrong and still haunts George. He is suffering from the worst cases of PTSD that I’ve ever seen. I don’t want to be critical, but his treatment is not a success! He can’t even determine whether he’s the child watching the couple or if he’s someone else.

Despite, his behavior, he’s released and his initial stop is a peepshow where the dancer is nice enough to let him touch her a bit for his green. Hey, for his first night out that’s not bad! If he could just stop thinking about that bad night, he’d be all set. Some other goddesses of the night try to influence him to go for a real ride, but he calls it a day.

Meanwhile, Kathy (Danny Ronan) is babysitting George and his ex’s Susan’s (Sharon Smith) annoying kiddies, Tammy (Tammy Patterson), Kim (Kim Patterson) and the worst of them C.J. (C.J. Cooke). The children yell for her claiming they see someone out their window. She tells them it’s nothing, but then immediately doubts herself. Apprehensively, she walks around outside looking to see if anyone is out there. It’s only dipshit kid C.J. (C.J. Cooke) playing a prank. I hate dipshit kid C.J.

Now a free man, George breaks the terms of his probation and starts heading to Florida to see his old family. They are NOT expecting him! On his way there, he hits a bar and sees a woman that reminds him of his mother. He follows her home and has a massive setback in his therapy and murders the woman. That said, he does apologize after killing her, but then takes a few nibbles of her flesh which makes one call into question his sincerity.

The doctors struggle to find George when they find out he is no longer in New York and instead is heading to Florida. His direct psychiatrist doesn’t believe that he’s a threat to anyone. That doc is an idiot. Thankfully a short man (John L. Watkins) with a cigar, scarf, winter coat, moustache, glasses and a shitload of personality tells the moron off and insists that they get him back. I want to see that dude to motivational speeches. I think it would go something like, “get off your fucking ass”

While, George is going home, we learn that Susan has a new hippie beau named Bob (Mik Cribben.  I assume Bob is the love child of Tommy Chong and Bob Ross, either that or he just raided both of their closets. He’s a nice guy, but way too hairy for my tastes. I can handle a sexually repressed psycho, but hair on the chest – no thank you!

Bob and Susan are trying to have some alone time when dipshit C.J. pretends that he was stabbed. No one calls the cops or an ambulance. Instead, Susan runs home to find that he’s just pulling another prank. That kid sucks, but Susan makes things worse. She screams at her daughters and at poor stoner wannabe Bob. Bob makes her feel guilty by flashing some puppy dog eyes and telling her that he cares. In her defense, she does apologize. I don’t envy her situation. I would not want to be a woman with three kids and a psycho ex who murdered a family in sexually suggestive ways. That’s a lot of baggage for one gal to carry. She’s entitled to a breakdown or two.

Not to mention, punk ass bitch C.J. doesn’t quit harassing Kathy. He purposely tries to drive her mad. Where is Curt Duncan from WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979) when you need him?

On the beach, jackass C.J. sees George. He tells Bob and Susan that he’s noticed a man following him. Susan automatically believes he’s lying, but nice guy Bob offers the benefit of the doubt.

When George sees Bob with his old family and playing nice to his son, he gets pissed and starts calling his ex wife with dirty talk, but doesn’t reveal who he is. He calls his doctor for help, when he has a seizure and another flashback.

In the end, we are left with some insane visuals and an equally insane conclusion.

I highly recommend this. It’s fun and crazy and campy. There are moments of it that remind me of SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT (1984) and NEW YEARS EVIL (1980). It’s a gory crazy ride made better by the rebellion and freedom loving distributor who actually served time to preserve the flick.

Catch this on AMAZON PRIME or purchase it as it has some great re-watch value.

Scared Stiff Rating: 8/10

The post THE NIGHTMARE (1981) Horror Movie Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

THE BODY BENEATH (1970) starts off with Anna Ford (Susan Clark) placing flowers on her mother’s grave at a cemetery right before closing. Three blue-faced fem-vamps attack her on the way out. The vampires in this flick dislike sun, but it’s not a rule-breaker and they can go out in it.

Immediately, after Rev. Alexander Algernon Ford (Gavin Reed) and his wife Alicia Ford (Susan Heard) go to the front door of the house and introduce themselves to the owner Graham Ford (Colin Gordon). The Rev informs Graham that they are related and he is there because he and his wife saw in the papers that Graham had arrived in London. In reality, they are related but Alex has been alive for many generations. He and his group are all vampires and they have taken over an estate in London.

He tells Graham that he only wanted to stop in because they were family. They invite him and his wife Anna (Susan Clark) to dinner the following Saturday and Graham accepts though does say he’ll have to check with his wife. For 1970, that’s pretty progressive. Good boy!

Things gets a bit bizarre when the Rev knows a little too much family history. He comments on how Graham’s relations to them comes from his mother. Graham didn’t know his father and therefore opted to take his mom’s maiden name. Odder still is when Alex discusses horoscopes and comments that Graham is a Pisces and Anna is a Virgo. Now, I was dragged to many a church in my day. Every Holy Man I encountered hated anything remotely astrological or occult in nature.  I want to go to Alex’s church. Sign me up for Vamp Camp!

Rev. Ford goes on to discuss how their lineage travels back to Roman Times and 98 BC. Considering Ancestry.com wasn’t a thing back then, he gets an A+ for his Family Tree report. Lastly, he tells Graham that he’s going to be opening a church. It is around that time, that Graham notices Anna hasn’t returned yet. He finds it strange because she’s always on time. On their way out, a tattered and very much out-of-it Anna returns.

Meanwhile, a maid assists Candace Ford (Emma Jones) readying for a date when Spool (Berwick Kaler) arrives as a delivery man.Spool is my favorite character. He’s got a hunchback, short blonde hair and a small wool hat upon his head. He brought a corsage for Candace and hands it over to the maid who becomes entranced by a fem vamp that snuck in the house. Hypnotized, the house servant brings up the flower and Candace is pricked on the finger. Unbeknownst to Candace who heads out on a date, the maid puts the blood on a small piece of glass and then gives it to Spool and the fem vamp outside.

Next, Susan Ford (Jackie Skarvellis) arrives for a meeting with Rev. Ford. This is the first time she’s meeting her family as well. She received a letter from Alex. While waiting for him, Spool runs around Susan laughing without reason. I think he has a crush!

When the Rev does arrive, Susan doesn’t say anything but instead asks Alex to officiate her upcoming nuptials. (Poor Spool!) Like Graham, she isn’t aware that her new-found family are vamps. Alex agrees to handle the ceremony and then immediately drugs her with a toast of blood they claim is tomato juice.

She passes out and Spool takes her upstairs. When she wakes, the hunchbacked gent brings her food and insists she eats. He tries not to spark a convo because he knows if he talks to her that the Rev Vamp will beat him. Susan plays nice and tries to get him to help. She asks him to be her friend when the trio of lady-vamps come in to attack. Before they can, Alex comes in and kicks everyone including poor Spool out.

Alex tells Susan that she needs her to preserve the Ford bloodline. He wishes to turn her and have her give him children. She passes out and he initiates phase one. The next day when Susan doesn’t arrive home, her fiance Paul Donati (Richmond Ross) comes by looking for her. The Rev’s maid lies and says that Susan left, but starts asking the Rev too many questions. Alex doesn’t take it well. He calls her a slut and fires her. Paul’s inquiries aren’t any better as he asks to come inside to see if Alicia may know something. He opens his cigarette compact and notices that the Rev doesn’t have a reflection. He escapes and teams up with the fired maid to find Susan.

Back at Graham’s, he begins to notice something is awry with Anna. She’s ice cold and is suddenly a night owl obsessed with the moon. Anna, not a full Vamp Goddess, is at the command of the evil Rev. She lets him and his harem of fem-vamps saunter in and get bloody crazy with Graham.

Next on the list to secure is Candace who is kidnapped and brought to Alex. The Rev is serious about family reunions! RSVPing no is not an option. Alex tells Candace that he tested her blood count and they need to harvest her supply for transfusions. He says they’ll do their best to keep her comfortable and in 6 months if she behaves herself they’ll give her immortality. I got to say for all the times I’ve given blood, the RED CROSS never offered me immortality. There’s also a large plot-point concerning the Rev’s addiction and/or illness related to the way in which his body reacts to blood. He needs much more than any other vamp to keep going and his blood pressure becomes unregulated.

My favorite scene is between Candace and Spool as she gets him to talk about his childhood, the abuse he endured and how he got with the wild bunch. He’s such a likable character. I so want someone to end up with him. He needs a sexy fem-queen that has enough care to protect him and enough assertive flare to build his ego up. I think Candace could’ve been that gal. She was even going to get him to a doctor to remove his hump. She’s so genuinely sympathetic toward him. He needs someone to want him and she could. She’s gentle with him, but she asks him to help her escape. Why must these women always put these poor gents in such precarious situations? Just stay, give them your blood, became an eventual vamp, turn Spool and live out eternity with him. Why is that so hard? God, how I love my misfit toys!

 The movie comes together in a surreal feast of indulgence and insanity where Alex delivers some intensely wild  (and at times, nonsensical) dialogue. The whole event is dark, mysterious and by far the rawest moment within the film yet it is surrounded by the Rev offering a defense of his actions, conducting a family vote, ordering a murder and discussing a move to the United States. To say that it’s manically bizarre is an understatement.

The few who have seen this and reviewed it, never seem to give it any level of appreciation. Admittedly, it’s very tame. There’s no nudity and only hints at sex, but it’s still a kick-ass and original vamp tale. The fems look great in their make-up which due to the budget constraints is quite a feat. The acting and cast both did a great job. I really don’t get the hate on this one. In some ways, it’s a slow burn I suppose, but it’s an interesting watch throughout. It’s fascinating, weird and evident that much thought and love was put into it.

Currently, it’s both on YOUTUBE and AMAZON PRIME. I suggest it. It’s not horrifying but there are some creep factors. The Rev brings a great deal of camp throughout and Spool is marvelous! It’s certainly not for everyone, but just the same – it’s definitely for me!

Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5/10

The post The Body Beneath (1970) – Horror Movie Review appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

There are not many Thanksgiving horror films out there. Thankfully, one of the few we do have, HOME SWEET HOME (1981) is a wonderful train wreck of insanity. It’s not subtle and it’s not high-brow. It’s over-the-top lunacy done with a self-awareness that makes for some hilarious moments. If you need an escape from the family for a bit, dive into this cult classic as it is currently chilling on YOUTUBE.

Muscular alpha-male Jay Jones (Jake Steinfeld) is not a mentally sound man. He has struggles. For example, he’s hooked on drugs, has horrible anger issues followed by bouts of boisterous laughter, killed his parents and just escaped a mental institution. He also killed and maimed a few guys on his way out See, the boy has struggles and obviously our rehabilitation programs leave a lot to be desired.  What an indictment on our health system!  Sure, let’s go with that. I want to be on Jay’s side!

Worse, it’s Thanksgiving. He has enough stress and with the holidays here, it’s no wonder that the first guy to offer him a beer gets dragged out of his car and strangled to death. In his defense, the guy was in a car while drinking. He wasn’t driving, but who knows what his plan was. Maybe, Jay prevented a drunk-driving accident by killing that guy. It’s possible. You don’t know!

An announcement on the radio comes thru advising that Jones is a dangerous dude who could be on PCP. Hmmm – maybe he just needs drug counseling. Has anyone tried that? That could be why he finds it so amusing when he mows people down in his car and blood spatters across the windshield. I’m not the best on appropriate social reactions, but I think cracking up in hysterical laughter when you hit someone with a car isn’t the correct reaction. Then again, I’m not a doctor and I don’t have a medical journal handy so I don’t want to judge poor Jones too harshly.

As Jay is killing his way home, a group of friends and family get together to celebrate Thanksgiving at Harold Bradley’s (Don Edmonds) place. Accompanying him are his girlfriend Linda (Sallee Young), his young daughter Angela (Vinessa Shaw) and his son Mistake (Peter De Paula) who wears mime style make-up, rocks a guitar, practices magic and is a proud member of the KISS army. He’s a sad little man who is trying way too hard, but he’s a good brother.

Couples, Scott (David Mielke)& Jennifer (Colette Trygg), and Wayne (Charles Hoyes) & Maria (Lisa Rodriguez) join Linda’s best friend Gail (Leia Naron) rounding out the group. Maria annoys everyone playing folk music on guitar while Wayne cheers her on. He’s somewhat supportive, but mostly a douche.

Jones continues his joyous bloodbath to the Bradley ranch and then continues with his crazed crime-spree. One has to recognize the entertainment value that Jake Steinfeld bring to this production. His zany physical comedy routines during his murder sequences make it so much more enjoyable. Generally, I prefer whodunits, but this is one rare scenario that I’m happy we saw the killer from jump.

HOME SWEET HOME is a fun and silly flick that is 100% camp. The acting is all over the place, the tone remains light and there isn’t a genuine scare throughout. Still, it’s hilariously awesome. For the few who have seen LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH (1989) it’s a bit like that though with a higher-budget (believe it or not) and less gore.

For slightly more well-known comparisons, I’d say it sits somewhere in-between the tone of CHEERLEADER CAMP (1988) and RETURN TO HORROR HIGH (1987).  It’s definitely worth the watch. It’s a horror fan light enough where those easily scared can watch and yet is still extremely amusing.

Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5/10

The post HOME SWEET HOME (1981) – THANKSGIVING HORROR MOVIE REVIEW appeared first on SCARED STIFF REVIEWS.

When TERROR AT THE RED ROOF INN (1972) opens we see Henry Smith (Arthur Space). Henry is a well-dressed old man with a killer green thumb (Nailed it!) He is kind, sweet and attentive to his plants. I’m sure I won’t change my opinion of this wonderful elderly guy by the end of the flick!

Henry’s 20 something old grandson, Baby John (John Neilson) is a cute, but peculiar man. John is sent to the airport to pick up Regina (Linda Gillen). Regina won a vacation getaway to Henry and his wife’s Evelyn’s (Mary Jackson) RED WOLF INN. Lucky her!

John’s a bit weird, but Regina seems instantly into him. When he asks if she wants to drive fast, she jump in and he puts pedal to the medal. A cop chase ensues, but the duo get away. They laugh it up and flirt a bit. It’s cute. I like it. Hopefully, Regina will be cool with whatever momma and daddy got going on and join the clan.

The INN is a luxurious estate. Immediately, upon arriving the entire group come out to welcome her. They’re so cheerful. This is going to be a great vacation for her! They’re not weird at all!

Evelyn with a huge smile on her face introduces the other guests model Pamela (Janet Wood) and Edwina (Margaret Avery) was on foot and hitchhiking when she just popped in.

Regina asks to use the telephone to call her mother and nice old Evelyn brings her right to one. See, nothing strange. Sadly, the phone line is dead. No worries, Evelyn assures she’ll have a man there to fix it right away!

Pam, Edwina and Regina bond before dinner and just chit chat about their lives. Despite being on vacation, Regina insists on helping in the kitchen for dinner. At first, Evelyn tells her that she couldn’t dream of bothering her, but when Regina tries to wander in the walk-in fridge, Evelyn has a change of heart and shoves the platter in her hands to walk out.  Hmmmm…what is in that refrigerator?  Something tells me Charlton Heston would know.

Whatever is in the food, everyone gorges on it. It isn’t just that Evelyn is a good cook. Her food brings people to near orgasmic levels of bliss. When everyone is beyond full, Evelyn brings out cake and insists they have a piece. No one can say no.  Her baking is as good as the meal!

Over drinks, good ol’ Henry toasts Pamela while Baby John and Regina flirt. They all sit around the common area chatting when the ladies go off to bed. Before leaving, Regina asks if she can help with the dishes. She really is a nice girl and John really does notice.

John is definitely my type too. He’s a loyal, crazy boy who is ready to learn the ways of love and Regina can definitely show him a thing or two. That night, she has an erotic dream involving John though it was mixed with some nightmare surreal imagery.

After the dream, Regina wanders to the kitchen in the dark and finds John with a knife. She screams alerting the house to come down. John apologizes to her. He didn’t want to scare her! He likes her. Am I attracted to homicidal maniacs that make exceptions on who they kill based on their libido? Well, I have The Joker & Harley from BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES tattooed on my arm if that answers the question.

Regina admits to Edwina that she’s into Baby John. The girls joke about how they fall in love all the time. Again, the 70s were beautiful. I want to crawl inside these films and live there! Maybe not at the same houses with all the death, but at least within the philosophy of the women running the show and the men all too willing to come for the ride.

On the beach, Regina and Baby John build a sand castle together. Give me this over Swayze and Moore in GHOST (1990) any day. I like the awkwardness and slow initial touch of the first kiss. It’s sweeter and the whole atmosphere and tone being darker is much more appealing to me.

Sadly, the mood is killed when baby John freaks out over a shark he catches on a fishing line and bashes it to death on the beach screaming Shark over and over again. He goes overboard, but then turns to Regina and says, “I think I love you.”  Poor shark, but I forgive him. He’s new at this whole thing and it’s safe to say he’s done a lot more than bashed a shark to death.

Later, everyone gets drunk at a party to say farewell to Edwina as it’s her last night there. What a nice thing for a hotel to do! For all the nights I’ve spent at hotels, Inns, and B&Bs never once did anyone throw me a farewell party. The best I got was Captain’s Night on a Cruise and that was for everyone! I think I was just being paranoid. The people at Red Roof Inn are just nice people who run a friendly place that give out free giveaways for no reason.

Oh wait, what’s that? Never-mind, Johnny-boy just asked Grandma Evelyn if he can keep Regina and she didn’t quite say yes. The good news is that it wasn’t a no either. The bad news is that I think John asking for ownership rights on another human being is a red flag. I’m not saying it’s a deal-breaker. It’s just something Regina should think about after a few hardcore sex scenes with him. She needs her fun and I need mine too so let her play and then decide if she wants to risk being part of that crazy fam or try to fight back. Finding out Johnny’s playbook in the bedroom is a great way to weigh the risks and benefits.

Regina gets upset when she finds out Edwina left without saying goodbye. Now knowing that something is seriously off, she grabs the phone and calls her mother. Evelyn hangs up and orders Baby John to take her to the bedroom. Sadly, no fun stuff happens as Regina is more interested in talking about Edwina and Evelyn.

The police come calling at the same time further eliminating my hopes of seeing any real hot action between the two leads. They have so much chemistry too! I want these crazy kids together. The officer (Michael Macready) is just another grandson and isn’t interested too much into what Regina is talking about.

Baby John definitely has more of a moral compass than the rest of his family and Regina sees that. She begs Johnny to run away with her, but he is a dutiful grandson and feels compelled to talk to Evelyn first. Having enough, she decides to venture into the locked refrigerator and see the scope of what has been done.

It’s not good. I think she was surprised. I sort of expected it, but I think she was hoping for something more reasonable. She flees on foot and a chase ensues.

Will she get away? Will she find someone who isn’t corrupt? Will Baby John betray his crazy family for love or will he do the unthinkable to Regina?  You should watch and find out because this is a fucking awesome movie and it has one of the greatest final scenes in horror history.

The acting is sensational. Linda Gillen portrays Regina as a little minx-ie in the beginning, but alert and aware throughout. She can have fun and is ready to go, but she isn’t blind and she isn’t stupid.  She’s got that all-girl-everything 70’s vibe that I love.

John Neilson is killer as Baby John. He’s too immature and needy to hold accountable for what he’s a part of. He’s also very cute.

Both Arthur Space and Mary Jackson are phenomenal as the creepy, weird and secretive Henry and Evelyn Smith. I love them. Their nonchalant attitude about their way of life is just a lovely spectacle of insanity.

For people who are fans of movies like UNHINGED (1982) or the campier, but equally awesome  AMERICAN GOTHIC (1988) this is a treat! Somewhere in between WARLOCK MOON (1973) and MOTEL HELL (1980) sits TERROR AT THE RED ROOF INN. It’s terrifically wicked. Admittedly, there are no sex scenes so you’re imagination is going to have to do the work. Still, Neilson and Gillen’s chemistry helps out incredibly well with that.

Grab this one while it’s still on YOUTUBE! 

Scared Stiff Rating: 8.5/10

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If you’ve ever seen NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR (1985) you obtained a glimpse. Footage from CATACLYSM (1980) was taken and a very short synopsis of this movie was shown to create the anthology short. I love NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR, but you must experience CATACLYSM in its fully glory. It has one of the greatest horror villains of all time and the film itself is an underappreciated compelling film.

The movie begins when Catholic Claire Hansen (Faith Clift) goes to a psychic magic show. She gets a strange vision of a Nazi gathering and talks to the man after. He then is murdered and a symbol of the demon Moloch is left with him.

Her husband James (Richard Moll) is an atheist and becomes increasingly irritated with Claire’s faith. He is consumed by the belief that religion is bullshit. He even writes a new book, GOD IS DEAD, about it. He’s basically Richard Dawkins. Claire thinks his book is a catalyst for even and feels that the Devil is loose. She tells James of omens and foreboding clues and asks him to stop publication on the book, but he refuses.

Meanwhile Abraham Weiss (Marc Lawrence), a holocaust survivor has spent the last 35 years trying to track down the Nazi that killed his family. He brings in Lt. Sterne (Cameron Mitchell) who reluctantly decides to pursue the case. When he realizes that the man being accused is only in his 20s, he initially takes Abraham as a loon. To offer evidence, Weiss brings Sterne back to his place and shows all the pics and articles following the Nazi over decades showing he never aged. The Lt sees the resemblance but thinks it’s a coincidence. He leaves, but promises to stay in touch.

Weiss unable to wait for justice any longer tracks the villain down. His name is Olivier (Robert Bristol). He is as evil as he is gorgeous. The first time we see him he has long black hair evenly parted. He wears a white shirt under a black jacket with a red rose. He’s got an Eric Burden sex appeal that I am ALL ABOUT. He is yummy.  He’s horrible. He’s dreadful, but he is just terrific to look at.

When Abraham breaks in with a gun, the old man doesn’t make it far. Sterne devastated by Weiss’s death, smells a rat and starts investigating. As he’s investigating Olivier, Olivier is investigating James. Olivier is happy with the book and the spreading of hedonistic philosophy. He’s warned by his devoted cult to be wary of Claire who keeps trying to convert James.

Also trying to convert James is former monk Papini (Maurice Grandmaison). Papini stops by James’s work and tells him to fight Satan. James laughs him off, but Papini won’t leave and talks about how the devil is controlling earth. James doesn’t listen to him and though Claire is more compelled by what he says, she doesn’t act when he advises her during confession.

Sterne is must easier to convince than James. Following, Olivier to a nightclub and watching the way he possesses a woman with his eyes is enough to convince him that he murdered Abraham. Later when that same woman is dropped off a tattered wreck, Sterne decides it’s time to pay Olivier a visit. The gal was having fun until Olivier took his shoes off and showed he had hooves. He was still yummy from the knee up.

Sterne confronts Olivier who basically gloats that he’s guilty of everything, but that the Lt is helpless to do anything about it. He doesn’t come out and admit that he did anything, but his demeanor and mannerisms speak volumes.

Olivier sends to meet James who suddenly becomes confronted with the realization that Satan is real. Olivier asks him to join the organization. He declines and says he doesn’t believe in Satan anymore than he believes in God. Olivier gives him a chance to recant before a cloth falls to the floor and when he doesn’t, he’s faced with deadly consequences.

Meanwhile, Claire drapes herself in religious garb and goes to church only to see Olivier following her there.  Hmmmmm….. a member of Satan’s army breaking into Church looking all sexy. Noooo! I never had any fantasies like that when I was younger and forced to go to a 2 hour long boring services every Sunday against my will.

In the end, Claire is forced to fight Olivier herself. It’s a fun movie with a cool ending. Cameron Mitchell is sensational as the Lt. He’s always an over-the-top treat and he doesn’t let down here.

Moll is well-suited as the pompous know-it-all that insists on putting reason above even firsthand  experience.

Lastly, Robert Bristol is sensational as the lead. He owns the camera when he’s on. I wish there was more with him in the film.

The only negative is that Clift’s acting is forced and at times very affected.

Despite that the movie is fantastic and a must-see. It’s currently both available on AMAZON PRIME and YOUTUBE as TROMA is making their films readily available.

Scared Stiff Rating: 7/10

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Larry (Jimmy Stathis)is a middle-aged man who is married with two kids. He and his wife Robin (Clara Perryman) try to keep an active love-life but are always interrupted by their children. Larry wanting a little adventure sneaks a way to purchase a rendezvous spot where he can brings some ladies. He finds a room being offered from Jason (Stephen Knight) and his sister Bridget (Cassandra Gaviola) a very odd duo with a place to fit their personality.

The room is in a mansion in Hollywood Hills. It’s decked out with candle and otherwise completely black. Without question, this place was made for sex. Larry likes it and quickly rents it. Later while making love to Robin, he talks about the black room, but pretends he is merely role-playing. Robin eagerly listens and is turned on by the idea. Still, he wants to keep this party palace away from his wife and uses it only for his mistresses.

To Robin’s credit she tries to make things exciting. She asks Larry to get kinky with her, but he says he won’t because he loves her. What bullshit! Larry is a dickhead. He brings a bunch of hotties to his new place, but refuses to do anything to keep the fires burning at home. Fuck Larry.

As Larry is sexing up his lovers, Jason and Bridget look on and take photographs without either party knowing it. Later, when one of the women cancel, he goes outside and talks with Bridget. She tells him that Jason has a blood disorder and is very sick. Throughout the film, shots are shown of blood transfusions which seem to validate Bridget. The two have a wild crazy shag with Bridget painting herself up in neon colors and wearing feathers. Jason continues to take pictures without Larry knowing it. Later we see, Jason take more pictures at an unhinged shoot with his sister. As twisted as it is, Bridget looks fabulous as she rocks out a crazy wig and a shimmering gold dress.

Later, Larry hooks up with a prostitute and they start to play. She gets blindfolded and tied up, but an alarm goes off. Douchebag Larry leaves the hooker tied up and tells her he’ll be back in 30. Of course the poor gal can’t see or fight back when the maniacs attack. The maniacs are in fact Jason and Bridget. It’s not a whodunit and that’s not a spoiler. The siblings have a secret lab where they drain the blood of their victims and inject it into Jason. They kill all the lovers after Larry leaves.

At home, Robin is still trying to get Larry a little more fired up in the bedroom. She wants to be a plaything for a night, and he’s being a holy-roller about it. Sure, pay a girl to blindfold her, but don’t dare let your wife get off on a little role-playing. Again, Larry is a dickhead

Eventually, Robin wises up and finds out the black room is more than just fantasy. Jason convinces her to use the room for some fun and she goes for it. Good for her. That’s right! Fuck Larry. He’s a bad husband, a horrible fuck and a pious prick. Give Robin the boy-toy collection!

Robin isn’t as happy and when she sees all the photographs, she gets more pissed. She asks how they can take pictures from the room they are in and he shows her where they can watch from. That night, she watches while her husband meets with a girl and her boyfriend. The guy just wants to watch him screw his girlfriend for a psych paper, but Robin is devastated by it.

Jason convinces her to start bringing in other men so that he can watch her with them and take pictures. She does and Larry gets a good show that of course he’s not into. Of course, the moment Robin is getting off, Larry suddenly believes in monogamy. God forbid Robin gets to climax! Dickhead Larry suddenly doesn’t think the game is fun anymore and wants to call it quits.

I give it up for Robin for at least initially telling him to go screw and seeing the hypocrisy though she is more of a willing doormat than I prefer. When he’s pissed, he threatens to leave her and the kids. He’s an abusive prick. I hate that fucker. He is the true villain in this film.  Sure, Bridget and Jason may be murderers who drain blood, but at least they believe in a woman’s right to enjoy sex.

The conclusion culminates in an odd and disturbing way that fits with the tone of the flick. The duo kidnaps Robin and Larry’s children with the intention of draining their blood. Larry suddenly cares about them and rejoins his wife in an effort to get them back.

THE BLACK ROOM is definitely a weird film and the $40K budget shows. Still, it’s an interesting and intense movie that delves into bizarre territory that though never fully explained is developed enough to fit the film’s structure.

The acting isn’t as campy as one would expect. Though definitely a hot-and-heavy movie it’s told in a straight-forward manner. It’s been years since I’ve seen it, but for whatever reason an old movie entitled CALL ME (1988) came to mind when watching it. I’ll have to go seek that one out as it was a favorite of mine when I was a teenager.  It’s probably been about 20 years since I’ve seen it and all I now remember is a sexy little scene with a piece of fruit. Even that is a blur. Still, I wonder what type of themes and aspects triggered the memory.

As for THE BLACK ROOM, you can find it on YOUTUBE for free. Beyond that, it’s bootleg city, as far as I can see. I bought my copy at a horror con about 7 years ago. Seek it out and watch it for the odd little gem it is.

Oh and one more thing:  Fuck Larry!

Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5/10

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RING OF DARKNESS (1979) also known as SATAN’S WIFE is a trippy 1979 low-budget Italian sexploitation that is equal parts hilarious and odd.

It’s a bit like THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK (1987) on crack. It follows a group of women who when much younger gave themselves over to the devil out of lust and the desire of power. They became his brides and now thirteen years later, trouble is brewing.

One of the women, Carlotta (Anne Heywood)narrates the tale.She is worried about the odd behavior her daughter Daria (Lara Wendel) has been exhibiting. It’s clear that Satan is her real father and that she is following in her father’s footsteps. Still, Carlotta tries to instill values. She is going thru a divorce and Daria’s stepfather Peter (West Buchanan) is ready to get the hell out dodge.

When Daria steals a doll and her mother inquires about it the evil child responds, “You ask too many questions, mother.” It’s a creepy little scene that is well done.

Another of the brides, Raffaella (Irene Papas) is a prostitute so she can try to get her kicks somehow, but every John she gets with is spooked when Lucifer shows up (Ezio Miani) in a white scarf and black shirt. He pulls the same bullshit when Carlotta tries to steal some sexy time with a professor (Ian Bannen).

I gotta say, he doesn’t do it for me. He’s not quite bad or naughty enough. He’s too David Cassidy whereas I like my devils more Viggo Mortensen from THE PROPHECY (1995).

Elena Merrill (Valentina Cortese) is Daria’s teacher and one of the women within Lucifer’s control and grasp In school, Merrill gets a tongue-lashing from Daria for lying.

Carlotta calls the women together in a black mass and informs them that Satan has a hold on Daria and that she knows more about the occult than they do. It takes a bit but the women come around when the evil deeds of Daria’s get worse and expresses zero guilt. The women track down a priest (John Phillip Law) to exorcise the evil out of Daria. At first, he’s hesitant as he’s about to leave the church, but bound by the duties of the cloth he relents.

RING OF DARKNESS is a late 70s hybrid of THE OMEN (1976) and THE EXORCIST (1973). I give the ripoffs of the 70s far more forgiveness and leeway than the carbon-copy $2.00 copycats routinely put out today. The difference is heart.  You don’t find recent movies like ABBY (1974) and BEYOND THE DOOR (1974). All of them are just cash-grabs. I don’t mind have a formulaic, low-budget thriller as long as it attempt to be good. RING OF DARKNESS does just that.

Despite the low budget, the wonky dialogue, the unintentional humor and nonsensical moments, this movie still tries. The actors are fantastic. The plot, though somewhat all over the place, is compelling enough. Most of the acting is good. Wendel can be a bit stilted and her lines are sometimes forced, but considering the themes, her age and how insane some of the things her character had to do was, she did a fine job.

In the end, she was downright disturbing. In fact, the final scenes are quite unsettling for several reasons. Nonetheless, I recommend this one.

It’s not as raw as the first few moments would have you believe, but there are certain bizarre and, for lack of a better word, fucked directions that the film takes. That isn’t to say it’s well-paced. It’s not. There are a few things that go nowhere and a few things taken way too far.  It’s a very strange flick in that you’re either a bit bored or completely fascinated.

This is going free on YOUTUBE in both English and Italian with English subtitles. Otherwise, seek out rental or purchase on any streaming sites.

Scared Stiff Rating: 5.5/10

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