There is not enough auto-erotic asphyxiation awareness. I don’t even think that there is a ribbon for it. Whatever the case, this topic is a great part of LAW & ORDER SVU’S “Ridicule” episode and they did one heck of a job with it. I’m sure those that have seen this episode have thought twice about choking themselves while they masturbate.

Andrew (Andrew Heckler) arrives home and finds his wife, Sydney, dead, with ropes around her neck, tied to the ceiling fan. When Stabler (Christopher Meloni) and Benson (Mariska Hargitay) discover the body, they begin to discuss auto-erotic asphyxiation, which is the trademark of this show. They continue to educate the viewers on sexual stuff that they may not be aware of and I applaud them for that, and now I know how my uncle really died. He auto-erotic asphyxiated before it was cool.

The detectives treat the case like a homicide despite the coroner stating that it isn’t. They interview her friends, starting with a lawyer, Pam Adler (Paige Turco). I like Paige Turco. She was awesome in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. Thankfully, none of the turtles choked themselves to death while masturbating. If that was the secret of the ooze, I’d stop being a TMNT fan.

Adler is a complete bitch and tells Stabler “what you know about the law, I can fit in the palm of my hand.” I’m surprised he let that go. Stabler has that temper and you’d think that he would tell her off, but he bites his tongue. He may have been worried about her job and how she could use it to screw him out of his job. His job is always on the line and if Adler called his boss and put in a complaint, he could be out on his ass, working at Wal-Mart.

Munch (Richard Belzer) and Tutuola (Ice T) interview the deceased’s other friend, Amelia Chase (Diane Neil), a day trader, and she isn’t very nice either. Neil would go onto become a big player in the show as a prosecutor, Casey Novak. You see this a lot in television…actors and actresses returning in different roles. Two shows I watch with regularity, THE INCREDIBLE HULK and THREE’S COMPANY kept recycling talent and we see it here with LAW & ORDER and I can’t blame them. Neil is really good in both roles that she’s done for this series.

As the detectives dig, a rape case emerges concerning Sydney, Adler and Chase. There was a male stripper, Peter (Pete Starrett), that accused the trio of raping him at a bachelorette’s party, but it wasn’t taken too seriously, especially by Stabler. From the minute that Stabler meets Peter, he is dismissive and even makes the point to prosecutor Cabot (Stephanie March) that “if he’s aroused, he consented.” It doesn’t go over well with anyone, but this is Stabler and you have to respect him. When he thinks about a dude being raped, he’s thinking corn-hole…not a foursome with attractive ladies. He was probably wishing it was him and was wondering why this dude was complaining, but it was still rape. Stabler needed to put his fantasies to the side and do his damn job.

Is it me, or is it strange for a male stripper to work at an animal shelter? I think it’s me. Yeah it’s me. Animal shelters don’t have sheep and not many gerbils. I’m getting worse than Stabler with my assumptions.

Cabot is pissed that the rape was so quickly dismissed by the cops and brings the case against the two remaining alleged rapists, Adler and Chase, but it’s an uphill battle. It looks like Peter is going to lose until some new evidence arises and Cabot is able to pit Adler and Chase against each other, leading to a couple more revelations.

LAW & ORDER SVU: RIDICULE is a very good episode, but there was one very disturbing thing that they should have caught before releasing this. When the lawyers are having a conversation at the steps of the courthouse, there’s an extra that is climbing the stairs. His pants are too fucking tight and climbing up his ass and my TV is 60 inches and his fat ass is directly in the middle of the screen. If they re-release this season with that ass blurred out, I’ll buy it so I don’t have to see that monster ass again. Maybe they were going for the big booty loving demographic and if that’s the case, they hit it and hit it hard.

I highly recommend this episode. It was great and paced very well with a lot of great performances. You also learn a lot about auto-erotic asphyxiation, which is a bonus because knowledge is power.

Rating: 8/10

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The subway can be a terrible place. It smells and you get those panhandlers and such and then you are trying to catch your train and a guy walks up to you with his dick cut off, asking for help. That happens in the SVU episode “CONTROL”, which is based on actual events. Damn, I wonder what dude got his junk cut off at the subway.

A grandfather (Mickey Hargitay) is with his granddaughter and is talking about the origins of life for some reason, leading to the conclusion that Bob the Builder created the world. It looked like the grandfather was going to give the granddaughter five across the eyes for the comment, which obviously went against his religious beliefs, when Horace Gorman (Austin Pendleton) walks up the escalator, asking for help and bleeding from the crotch. As he tries to explain his missing junk, he falls down the stairs. LAW & ORDER always knows how to start an episode. A dickless guy falling down the stairs is the perfect way to get the attention of the viewer.

Olivia (Mariska Hargitay) interviews the grandfather and he mentions that the dickless dude was “bleeding like a (long, unnecessary pause) stuffed pig.” At the hospital, Horace can’t recall anything outside of being at the subway and getting hit in the head. People block things out. for instance, if a guy gets his dick cut off, his mind could block that out. That’s not a memory that you’d want to hold onto.

Even though Horace made it to the hospital, his dick did not. So, the detectives are on the hunt for man junk. Olivia and Stabler (Christopher Meloni) go into the sewers and stumble upon Samael (Joseph McKenna), a man that believes he is a vampire. I wonder if this is based on a true story. I know a lot of fucked up people and it’s possible that a dude thought he was a vampire and was holding onto a guy’s prick for luck or whatever, but this part may have been made up to make the episode more interesting.

Samael notes that he has an angel and that she brings him things and, in this case, brought him some guy’s severed cock. As a vampire, living in the sewers and not getting out to the market often, and not having a job or income, I can imagine that any gift is a good gift. I feel bad for homeless vampires, especially those that think a severed cock is a good gift.

It turns out that Horace has some dark secrets. He has been kidnapping women and holding them hostage and forcing them into mock marriages. He cuts them loose when he’s bored with them, but he’s never served a day in prison. Hilary (Samantha Mathis) emerges as a past victim and potential subway attacker. She has had her fair share of problems, including drugs, and she’s not happy with the police, including Olivia. Years prior, Hilary reported what happened to her and Olivia didn’t buy it. The case was closed before it began.

Horace is found dead and Hilary is suspected, but her mother, Juliet (Jacqueline Bisset) confesses to the crime. Considering that Juliet disowned her daughter and didn’t believe her rape story, it’s reasonable to think that she is just covering for her daughter. The case goes to trial and there are some twists at the end of this one.

LAW & ORDER SVU: CONTROL is a very good episode that gets a few extra points for the vampire guy. I’m now afraid of going into the subway because I don’t want to run into a dick-collecting vampire guy. I don’t care how good he sucks.

Rating: 8/10

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Reviewed by Melissa Garza

I have to admit that I am shocked at the response to Wednesday night’s episode of Law and Order SVU.   Critics are slamming it, claiming the show has gone too far.  As a warning, for those who have not seen the episode yet and are planning to watch it on a streaming site, I am going to spoil this – so read it after you’ve watched it.

Without question, this particular episode is about the tumultuous relationship between Rhianna and Chris Brown.  For legal reasons, the show states that it is fictional but like many Law & Order episodes, it’s ripped from the headlines.

I remember when Chevy Chase starred in the original L&O series, and nearly word for word imitated Mel Gibson’s first major meltdown.  It was a great show and one of my faves.  Though by many accounts, Chase is a jerk in real life, he does have talent.  Sadly, his ego is bigger than his talent.  Oddly, I don’t recall too many articles rushing to the defense of Gibson, and with good reason.   Gibson went on an anti-Semitic, sexist rant and deserved to be depicted in such a manner.  So why, are critics so upset with this episode?  They say that the show went too far!  Let’s evaluate.

Chris Brown is a woman-beating douchebag.  He like Chase has more ego than talent.  Regardless of Rhianna’s forgiveness, his actions against her should have ruined his career.  I would have loved to see him go on Steve Wilkos and attempt to defend beating the hell out of her.  Wilkos would certainly tell him off.

Thankfully, the powers-that-be at L&O SVU seem to understand that a man who beats a woman up is a scumbag.  The show begins with R&B singer Micha (Tiffany Robinson) singing a duet with her boyfriend Caleb Bryant (Roca).  All is well, until Micha sees Caleb all over another girl.  She doesn’t confront him as much as she simply makes a joke about not being able to leave him alone.  He then jumps on her, pulls her hair, kicks her and leaves her bruised and beaten.  She goes to the hospital where Olivia (Mariska Hargitay) and Nick (Danny Pino) encourage her to press charges.   She hesitates because she loves him.

Bryant begs Micha to get back with him.  He sends her flowers, sweet texts, and even goes on talk shows professing his love and offering her a friendship ring.  His true side is shown as he like Brown (I don’t believe the tattoo is anything but Rhianna beaten), gets a tattoo of Micha bruised.

In the end, Micha lies for him on the stand after he kills her agent.  They go to Bermuda together where she asks him who sent him a text.  He tells her she should have learned her lesson to mind her own business and subsequently kills her.

This is what the critics seem to have an issue with.  They think it’s too overboard.  The critics are insane!  This is exactly what we need to see.  So many idiots defend Brown’s actions.  They defend Rhianna for going back to this scumbag!  We need the media to stand up and say, Brown is a complete piece of shit and Rhianna is an idiot for going back to him.

Instead, we get people saying, “Everyone makes mistakes!”  Yes, everyone does make mistakes.  Sometimes when my husband asks me to take my clothes he’s folded from the living room and put them in the drawers, I forget.  That’s my mistake.  Never has he beaten the living hell out of me….he’s never even raised his hand to me.  Nor have I to him.  Why you, ask; because we’re civilized people.  Despite our eccentricities, we have class and respect for one another.  We love each other so we don’t hurt each other.  We don’t hurt each other with words or with fists.  We talk things out.

Hitting someone isn’t a mistake.  It’s an insight into one’s personality.  Domestic violence isn’t something to brush off.  We need to look at it realistically.  It’s not unreasonable to say if a woman stays with a man who beats her, she’d end up in a casket.  That’s logical.  She’ll either live a life of pain and suffering or she’ll end up dead.  There isn’t a happy ending with a woman beater.

Is there anyone out there who thinks that Tina Turner would have been better off had she stayed with Ike?  How about Phil Spector?  If L&O did an episode depicting the death of Lana Clarkson would the media say that the show went too far?

Rhianna is sadly someone that young girls look up to.  It’s important that girls do not think it’s normal or acceptable to be in an abusive relationship.  They need strong female role models like the legendary Tina Turner who refused to be a punching bag and left Ike.

This was one of the best episodes since Stabler (Chris Meloni) left.  I highly recommend watching it.  In one way, the press discussing the episode is a good thing because it’ll encourage people to seek it out.  Hopefully people will ignore what the critics are saying and think for themselves.  They’ll see that the show isn’t making light of the situation between Rhianna and Chris Brown but instead showing the dangers of domestic violence.

Scared Stiff Rating:  9/10

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By Melissa Antoinette Garza

Like my brother Geno, I’m a huge fan of Law and Order SVU. Let me start by saying, I really miss Christopher Meloni and I want him to come back.  Elliott and his family were key reasons why this show was so gripping.

Anyways, unsurprisingly many Michael Jackson fans take exception to this episode as it is situated on the premise that the character based on Michael is guilty of child molestation.

The show starts with this young kid J.J. (Shane Haboucha) saying crazy stuff online about murdering a 5 year old.  He’s reported and Elliot (Chris Meloni) and Olivia (Mariska Hargitay) along with a swat team go into the home preparing for some psychopath.  Instead, they find J.J.

Dr. Huang (B.D. Wong) talks to the troubled youth and finds out that his parents made a deal for millions of dollars with Billy Tripley (Will Keenan) to keep quiet about J.J. being molested.

Soon, April (Madeleine Martin) a young girl seemingly suffering from cancer and being cared for by her grandmother Nora (Cindy Williams) claims to be molested as well.  It is soon found out that though J.J.’s claim was true, April’s was false and coerced by her grandmother.

Billy meanwhile is an eccentric man with many toys in his house including a treasure room where the kids dress up in costumes.

I highly recommend fans to check this one out.  I won’t give away the ending.

It was great to see Cindy Williams again.  I thought it would be great to see Lenny and Squiggy  show up in that episode.

I do also want to give a quick kudos to Ice-T for sticking up for Gwyneth Paltrow when she twitted what some perceive as a racist slang. It was merely the name of a rap album but the media jumped on it.  Ice-T is great.  I even love his wife and I usually hate celebrity wives.  Anyone who hasn’t read his book should jump on it.  His life story is extremely interesting.  Check out my review on his book here:  http://www.scaredstiffreviews.com/?p=867

Also, for the MJ lovers…..he was a great singer.  Man in the Mirror is one of the best songs of all time.  Still, he messed with those kids and was a bastard.

Overall Rating:  8/10

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By Geno McGahee

“You’re on the down low, dude.” – Tutuola (Ice T)

A prosecutor is found dead in his vehicle in the wrong part of the city, dead in some sort of apparent run in with a hooker. They find lipstick on the condom he is wearing and he was choked to death by some physically strong woman…a probable transvestite.

Olivia (Mariska Hargitay) and Benson (Christopher Meloni) are sent to investigate and there is a surprise. Olivia used to date the corpse and now she plans to put in a world of effort to catch the drag queen that took out her former man, but there are some major surprises to come.

I learn a lot from LAW & ORDER SVU. I didn’t know what the “Down Low” was until Ice T informed me that it’s black men having sex with each other but not considering it gay. I have never heard this before, but apparently it’s true. This subject is the focus of this episode, and in one instance, Ice T, confronts a former football player and says: “You’re on the down low dude.” I so want to say that to somebody.

Olivia’s former boyfriend was HIV positive and that opens up an entire new can of worms, including the fact that Olivia boned him. Another person of interest became another prosecutor named “Andy Abbot” (Michael Beach). He was the first one to help with the investigation but he soon becomes the focus. He admits cheating on his wife with hookers but won’t admit to the “down low.”

This is a great SVU episode. I learned something new and it was great fun overall with great performances by the entire group, especially Ice T. Ice T was great in this episode.

NB Rating: 9/10. You’re on the down low dude.

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