By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Anna (Patricia Charbonneau) gets an obscene call and thinks it’s her boyfriend Alex (Sam Freed), a guy she’s been chatting up for a month. He hasn’t been that thrilling in the bedroom and she thinks he’s finally giving her a little dirty talk. She eats it up and agrees to meet him at a bar in without panties and something showing off her thighs.
When she gets there she’s approached by a smoldering man with blonde hair named Jellybean (Stephen McHattie) who tells her an anomaly in her eyes is beautiful. She comments that no one else ever notices, but excuses herself to call Alex.
He answers the phone and tells her that he’s home. She gets freaked when she realizes it wasn’t him that called. She asks him to meet her at her home, but gets scared when she sees Jellybean. Instead, she runs into the bathroom and hides in a stall.
There, a trans woman Nikki (Pi Douglas) gets money for Switchblade (Steve Buscemi) who sits in an alley outside waiting. She hands him the money, but another man enters and murders her. Anna witnesses the whole thing. Without thinking about it she takes a $50 bill that is there and flees. She catches a taxi and goes home while Jellybean takes note of it all.
Back home, she tells vanilla Alex what happened and shows him the leftover cash, which is now like $30 because she paid for the ride home. Alex goes into typical boring mode and wants to call the cops. Anna refuses because she believes the murderer is an officer as his badge fell out during the struggle.
Later, Jellybean and Switchblade get into some roughhousing with the murderer. They’re all involved in a moneymaking scheme. Jellybean thinks Anna got away with the cash that Switchblade has. The boss (Ernest Abuba) wants his money and Jellybean is being held responsible for it. Switchblade doesn’t reveal the truth and instead buys some sharp new threads. It doesn’t take long for Jellybean to start looking at his friend. Poor Switchblade is in trouble!
Meanwhile, Adventure Killer Alex is going away to write a piece on airline food. Anna asks him to stay the night because she’s freaked out over the murder and the call. Alex makes the whole thing about him and tells her that she’s lying about the call to make him stay. To hell with Alex! Go back to that dirty caller and get the toys out, you’re sure to have a better time than with the dude who went to Bobby Ewing’s hair stylist.
When he leaves, her phone pal calls back. Shes not as enthused to talk and hangs up. The next day, she thinks it may be her boss Sam (David Strathairn). She sternly reminds him that sexual harassment is a thing by bringing up an article she has wanted to write. He shoots down the idea and she leaves.
He isn’t the only one she thinks it could be. She does recall Jellybean from the bar who she tells her friend Cori (Patti D’Arbanville) was “sexy in a dangerous way.” She also admits that the voice was sexy and something she wanted to listen to.
She gets her chance that night when the mystery man calls back. She hangs up but he calls again. She lets it go to the machine and he leaves a sexy message daring her to pick up. She gets turned on by the call and when he reveals knowing what her shoulder and eyes look like she picks up. She now thinks it could be Jellybean, but resists the idea of playing.
She still tries to stay stern and tells him it’s his fault that she saw a murder. He calls back and asks her a few questions. He seems genuinely concerned and for whatever reason she talks.
At work she does a street-talk piece asking people what they think of obscene calls. Sam is starting to like his employee more. He gets a bit nervous when she asks if he’s ever made a call like that. He walks away but comes back later hinting around. He’s cute and unassuming enough.
Soon, Jellybean finds Anna and Alex sharing a pretzel on a bench. Poor Anna, that’s probably her Saturday night with this idiot in tweed. When going to throw the trash away, she’s attacked and Jellybean momentarily shows up to help her, but leaves when Alex comes by.
Walking home at night, she runs into her friend Bill (Boyd Gaines) who walks in silence with her home. It’s clear he has a thing for her and has some weird charm. He carries the firecracker wannabe noisemakers and starts fucking around with them for no reason. It’s something. It’s more than Alex does, but not as quite as much as the calls do.
She gets another one and jumps in answering. He asks about her eye and she asks who he is. He doesn’t reveal but keeps calling back. He wants to talk to her and she definitely wants to talk to him, but she’s nervous. After all, she’s seen a murder and the guy calling knows who she is, but wont tell her his identity. You can see the girl’s dilemma . It’s exciting and a definite turn-on, but there’s also the possible ramifications.
When she goes back to the bar, the bartender calls her over and says that a man had been asking about her. He describes Jellybean. At that same moment, Cori notices a man put a personal ad in the paper asking Anna to call her. Waiting outside as if on cue is Jellybean. He tells her to get in, but she refuses and runs off.
She tells Bill about the phone calls, but begins to question if JellyBean is the same guy. She tells Bill that when she speaks to the caller he doesn’t seem like a creep…. sleazy yes….but not creepy. Bill finally makes a move and gives her a sweet kiss to which she responds. Good on Anna, she’s moving up in the world.
That doesn’t Mr. Sex-Over-the-Phone stops playing. He calls her while she’s in a towel, after a bath. She is sitting drinking wine. He tells her write away that he isn’t the one following her and she now believes him. He tells her if she doesn’t want to talk, she can hang up and he’ll never call again. She doesn’t. She wants to have some fun. She needs a little crazy excitement. Their talks aren’t only sexual. He’ll tell stories and the two do seem to be developing a connection.
When their conversations do turn sexual, he is sensational at it. He puts her in control in a BDSM fantasy and she falls into it immediately. He then begins commanding her to do thinks with an orange that sends her over the edge. She reaches her apex and doesn’t even realize that Alex has come back and is in the room. Instead, she instructs him to get an orange and begins to tell him what to do with when momentum-killing Alex is noticed sulking in the room. I wouldn’t worry about the caller though. I think Anna gave him enough fantasy fodder and DIY instructions to bring himself home.
She tries to convince Alex it isn’t a big deal and he once again is in some sort of fantasy world where he thinks she faked the phone call to get him to stay. She just needs to say, “dude this isn’t about you! It’s not about the guy calling. It’s about ME! Now, fuck off I’m expecting a phone call.”
Anna starts going on mini/friendly dates with Bill. I like Bill a lot. Out of all the gents in this flick, I like to think of him as the caller.A nice boy fisherman by day and a seductive whisperer by night is quite an amazing combo – especially considering he saves her life when she is nearly mowed down by Switchblade and Jellybean.
For protection, Bill lets her stay at his place. He promises he won’t try anything, though she makes no such promises. His place is amazing. It’s filled with aquariums and beautiful exotic fish. The ambiance is enough to get her in the mood and she gets on top and starts having fun.
The two make love in a wonderful scene only hurt by the late 80s/early 90s smooth jazz score. I prefer a more 70s cool riff porn tone to my love scenes, but that’s just me. Still, it’s a nice little romp.
In the end, we find out who the caller is and a chase ensues between Jellybean and Switchblade. It’s a great conclusion to a great flick.
This is one of those movies that I taped on an old VHS tape when I was a teen. I’d watch it a lot back then. This is the first time in YEARS that I went back to it and the only thing I remember was the orange. I had priorities! I think it’s unarguable that the scene with the fruit is the best scene in the flick.
Patricia Charbonneau is terrific as the self-determined, energetic lead fem. She’s sexy, strong, capable and fuck-the-world fabulous! Her sex scene are hot, the language used is pure erotic gold and she delivers the line without fear or apprehension. When the caller is playing submissive and she’s in the spot as dominatrix, she owns every syllable. YUMMY!
Boyd Gaines was great as the lead male protagonist. He never overshadows Charbonneau but compliments her performance well which is exactly what the role called for. He’s likable, charming, unassuming and genuinely unaffected.
Stephen McHattie is his normal smoldering badass self and is wonderful. Steve Buscemi plays a weaselly little loser, but he’s perfect at it. He’s Buscemi.
Overall the entire cast was great. The ending wasn’t exactly what I would have wanted. If it had been written in the 70s we would have had a far more exploitative and exciting conclusion, but instead it’s rather low-key all things considered.
Still, it ranks high on the naughty factor and has some sensational dirty talk.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7/10
